You know it's sad when you decide to die for no reason. I have people from Wal-mart that will miss me and care along with my family members while I'm gone for 30 in the hospital but once out I get life again as hopefully a better person with the right drugs. I made so many plans to get better but yet there's Tricia changing her mind again. So not yet but I'm going to die, I finally figured out where, when and how. I'm just sorry for the people that are going to be left hurting. I have lost two friends to suicide so I know the pain that people go through. So I'm not saying when but sometime I will die and I'm sorry to everyone on this site that became my friend because you all were very helpful and easy to talk to because you understand what I'm going through. So until then I will keep posting how my day is until it's the day I get to go home and see all my friends that I have missed for so many years.