I don't understand it, it's been awhile and I was doing fine but for some reason I can't get Carrie out of my head. And when I think of her I think of baby Kali and Ben and how it wasn't fair. And how I should have done more. I shouldn't have believed her when she said her mom was there, I should have checked like every other time. I keep crying and I can't stop. I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!