Tomorrow
Well it has been 23 days since I got the news my son died. 11 of those days I was in the hospital. I have been out since sat the 18th (one week). I gone to a support group and seen my Phychaitrist. They and my family have been supportive, but I still feel empty and dead inside. My dad said "God had a plan for him" and I HATED that as soon as he said it. I WANT HIM BACK. Oh I am past the serious thoughts of killing myself, but I still don't think most people know how much of me died with James Robert.
We are having his "Life Celebration" tomorrow. I don't want to go but I have to. I limited it to 2 hours and I have NO idea how many people will come. We are going to do a balloon release and write on the balloons our thoughts and wishes to James. I am also going to bring pizza, so everyone will have something to eat.
We are having his "Life Celebration" tomorrow. I don't want to go but I have to. I limited it to 2 hours and I have NO idea how many people will come. We are going to do a balloon release and write on the balloons our thoughts and wishes to James. I am also going to bring pizza, so everyone will have something to eat.
Replies
It takes such courage to write a first journal and and this is just what you have done.
It feels as if you have a supportive family and community and I know how I felt when I was on the receiving end of those kinds of comments. It is all about them and their discomfort and not about you. That is hard to remember, I know, when you are on the receiving end. I\'m sorry...
I don\'t think there is a mom here who wanted to go to their child\'s service. I\'m with you on that as it is not something we ever imagined having to do as it is not the natural order of things. It is a time to gather and to remember your wonderful son and however you are and however it turns out just allow it to be. James Robert knows your heart and that is what matters most.
When you are able let us know how it unfolded and sending you my understanding and care.
Gentle hugs,
Joanie
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. It sounds like it was unexpected and I am very sorry. You have come to the right group for your support circle. We are all Moms who share your emotions who have lost their children to a wide range of causes, at all ages. The grief is all still the same whether we knew it would come or not. My little boy died 11 months ago of cancer, after a 5 year battle. He lived 9 weeks on hospice so we got to say goodbye and plan his celebration of life together. But that does not make it easier when it actually happens.
I am sending your thoughts and prayers for you to get through tomorrow. For us, and several of our friends, the service is a complete blur, and you may not even remember who shows up but you will get through it. I am so so sorry you have joined this \"club\" that none of us wanted to join.
I am sure your dad is also full of grief and shock and was just trying to comfort you, however some of the things that people say in comfort can really be senseless or useless or even painful. Several have said \"He is in a better place\", which is just a cliche. It is NOT a better place for me right now several have told me I am young enough to have another baby. Actually I am not and neither is my husband and that would never \"replace\" the son we lost. It is a stupid thing for anyone to say. And yes, God may have a plan, but wouldn\'t you love to know what it is if he does? I have learned to bite my tongue, thank them for trying to comfort me, and then run back here to vent about it to our SOTHS (sisters of the heart). Somehow, together, we all get through it. Stay strong.
I am very sorry about the loss of your precious son, James Robert. We understand.....we care. May the Life Celebration for your son be filled with loving memories. Hugs of compassion....Vicki
I am SO sorry for the loss of your son James Robert. I too lost my son Ryan he was 18 and would be 27 this August 8th if he was here. My heart sinks, and my heart aches for all you newest moms who have to go through this excruciating pain after losing a Child. Just know you have an awesome group of woman who help each other through all different stages of the grieving process. I am with you in spirit at James Robert\'s funeral today helping you holding you praying for you and all James family and friends also supporting you. I remember from the time my son passed over to the other side I would pray every moment and for everything to get through everything I had to do without my son in my life, the physical part of never seeing him again. I must tell you Ryan was with me in spirit everyday, in my heart and soul, always giving me signs that he was ok with where he was in heaven.Your son James will too, I know, you have to BELIEVE... Also I want you to know how lucky you are finding this group of moms who need you and welcome you to our group so quickly. I am sorry for the reason you had to join us, It took me 2 1/2 years before I found these awesome moms..I had to learn the computer to join ForMomsOnly.
James looks like he lit up the world with his awesome and funny personality. I will be thinking of you today, sending you my love, peace and comfort through today. My Heart to your Heart with warm Hugs, Kelly
I am so very sorry. You have come to a place where other moms understand. I know that often, since my son died, I have felt very lonely, even with people I love and who love me. The moms here understand and that helps me feel not so alone. We are with you in this pain.
I am so sorry you are on this journey, one that none of us ever wanted or expected to be on. You will find much support, understanding and love from the moms here. Sending you the tightest of hugs and much love. Be gentle with yourself, no expectations. Sue xo
SO very sorry to hear of the loss of your son, JAMES ROBERT. My son, JASON, died from an accidental heroin overdose on May 4, 2009. Without the support of family, friends, and this group of phenomenal moms, I don\'t know where I would be. Thinking of you and your precious angel with love, prayers, and hugs, Sharon
My dear friend, I fully understand your pain. Always know that your sweet James will forever be your precious son, and you will forever be his mom! Nothing can ever change that.
Gentle hugs to you. xxx
It\'s almost four years since I lost my son, Jacob. One foot in front of the other, has gotten me here. The soth, sisters of the heart, have given me strength, lent it to me, when I was very low. Love does not die, it changes form, sometimes. But it is always there, his cells are intermingled with your own, and he lives on in every person he has touched. I know you will be brave with others and gentle with yourself! Abby
I lost my 34 year old son in 2007. It\'s a horrible road that we walk now. The wonderful Mother\'s on this site have been a lifeline...grab on to it. Know that you are loved here and that we hold your broken heart in ours. I am so sorry about the physical loss of your son. Love and hugs...Lynn