5 hours in services
I just spent 5 hours in services. It was a lot, I was standing nearly the whole time, my legs went numb. It’s a weird life here in some respects but it’s a gentle enough environment where it gives me life lessons in a really gentle way, that if learned in the secular world for me, I might become a raging lunatic about it. In part it’s bullshit here, I have to admit, that’s what I think about at times, usually when I’m tired from it all, I imagine, but it’s also nice what they essentially stand for and yet there are ‘wages’ to that. The work itself is for one but it’s good to do work. I was talking to my cousin last summer about Dad being still known as the ‘voice of reason’ in his business circle. He thought it must be great to still be wanted like that at his age, and so here too I have ‘a place’ as well which definitely is a honorable feeling. And the community cares if at times my mind reacts to a slight or diss with despondency rather than emotional intelligence, but I’m learning about that too. I just have to admit that a lot of the times I just want to do, what I want to do. This place has been good for now, and maybe someday I will go somewhere else. Blue is my favorite and I am his favorite. That’s one thing i definitely miss. I have so much energy to socialize but really I think in the end it’s because I’m lonely and I want to be someone’s favorite and have a favorite someone for me.
Replies
It's good that you are getting life lessons out of the experience. I hope they are treating you well there.
God Bless
Thanks Bob, it’s a weird kind of dynamic. Sometimes or normally I might be inclined to react but I’ve learned not to and ultimately they just sweep things aside, not thinking they are significant. And then honor you with some kind of niceness..
To be honest, I am exploring thoughts of living elsewhere.
Big hug sweetie
Remember when you moved before it ended up a bit of a disaster for you
I think a lot of it comes down to communal living and not even having one day off
It would definetely take some getting used to
Is it possible to work in a Greek Orthadox church as a priest without being in a monestary?
That you would get paid as a church Priest?
I was just wondering if doing your work would be possible in a different way
Sending hugs to you and Blue...xo
thanks janet!
can you give me directions to a bull shit free world?
nah. . . never mind. . . bull shit grows such beautiful roses and the hamburgers are nummy, too.
stay true to you, marky-poo.
It's a balancing act to manage - and the fact that you are more aware of the contained feelings that are 'let go' and you're able to see it, is impressive.
Moving into different lifestyles is a challenge, they all have their own balancing features.
Exploring those which interest you, gives you an opportunity to see what you have, what you want, and what you need in order to gain the best in the moment.
Here's to you!
I was in another long service... from 930a to 330pm - crazy!!
During it I was feeling a lot of things - pressure - stress - rebelliousness
and - disgust for the seemingly endless self congratulations on the part of the clergy -
but then I realized the diversity there - everyone was probably dealing with their anxiety in their own way.
But I realized as I was in this service - that there are some things you definitely have to find a morality
and this kind of general scope of humanity and acceptance of my humanness and others'
- helped me grow a little bit - as well so did the intensely long religious
ceremony.
I realized too that at times (both me and my best friend in LA) can be really chatty and flirtatious
and after services I kind of cut loose and chatted up a storm. I knew then though :'Hey you have to respect
peoples' boundaries too" It just helped me feel somewhat grounded.
Another thing I was thinking about was the wanting and looking for a relationship in my life...and
I caught myself being very choosy - and having a sucky inner critic about others - like I wanted
the person I find to be perfect - but I know THAT"S IMPOSSIBLE!! I AM NOT PERFECT
AND NEITHER IS THE OTHER so,,,, YOU MEET EACH OTHER ON A PLANE OF COMPASSION.
There's no rule - but if I suppose I will find someone I just really like to be around and know
that any situation that comes up - like a disappointment in myself - or disappointment in the other -
I know it's normal....and that's what friends are for....and significant others too.
thanks ARFIE and THANKS MID!!