5/27/13
Warning--full scale whine party in process.
Feel like I have not done anything all weekend but cry. and that's pretty much true. Horrid headaches and crying, that's it. Call from ex today. One of our dogs had a seizure this weekend. He took her to the vet. It's because she has moved to the next level of copd. Increased her meds. No need to send her across the bridge right now. She's happy and doing well. He was just letting me know. His other news: He's slowing down on working on the house because he starts his doctorate program Monday. Something he's wanted for years but never has worked out. I didn't ask any details. Whenever we talked about it there were no scholls around that offered what he wanted. He told me last year i thik he was going to start (guess he didnt-big surprise). I can't remember where he was doing it or what. Seems like it was an online program for religious studies. So, looks like that's working out for him. told me "WE are gonna slow down on the house. WE are going to be at the such and such fest as a vendor in October. etc" I'm not sure who the "WE" is. She isn't here yet-though I think she might have been this weekend. Last he told me she wasnt going to be moving here until September, at the earliest cause the classes she is taking had been set back or something. So, onward and upward for him. Out with the old. In with the new... Dumps me and all his dreams start coming true. Guess that says it all.
I'm stuck in a rut where I may soon drown from all the crying. The next time I tell my therapist something and she does one of those "You don't know" things, I'm gonna have it out with her. YES, I DO KNOW! So tired of all that psycho garbage everyone is saying: "you don't know. It's not him you miss, it's who you thought he was, blah blah blah.." I've had enough of the empty clishes. I DO KNOW. IT IS HIM I MISS. So let's dtart over and work on the cold hard truth istead of throwing the most recent cliche fluff at me.
I'm just hurting so badly these days. And I'm so very very tired of it. Tired of hurting. Tired of crying. Just tired.
Feel like I have not done anything all weekend but cry. and that's pretty much true. Horrid headaches and crying, that's it. Call from ex today. One of our dogs had a seizure this weekend. He took her to the vet. It's because she has moved to the next level of copd. Increased her meds. No need to send her across the bridge right now. She's happy and doing well. He was just letting me know. His other news: He's slowing down on working on the house because he starts his doctorate program Monday. Something he's wanted for years but never has worked out. I didn't ask any details. Whenever we talked about it there were no scholls around that offered what he wanted. He told me last year i thik he was going to start (guess he didnt-big surprise). I can't remember where he was doing it or what. Seems like it was an online program for religious studies. So, looks like that's working out for him. told me "WE are gonna slow down on the house. WE are going to be at the such and such fest as a vendor in October. etc" I'm not sure who the "WE" is. She isn't here yet-though I think she might have been this weekend. Last he told me she wasnt going to be moving here until September, at the earliest cause the classes she is taking had been set back or something. So, onward and upward for him. Out with the old. In with the new... Dumps me and all his dreams start coming true. Guess that says it all.
I'm stuck in a rut where I may soon drown from all the crying. The next time I tell my therapist something and she does one of those "You don't know" things, I'm gonna have it out with her. YES, I DO KNOW! So tired of all that psycho garbage everyone is saying: "you don't know. It's not him you miss, it's who you thought he was, blah blah blah.." I've had enough of the empty clishes. I DO KNOW. IT IS HIM I MISS. So let's dtart over and work on the cold hard truth istead of throwing the most recent cliche fluff at me.
I'm just hurting so badly these days. And I'm so very very tired of it. Tired of hurting. Tired of crying. Just tired.
Replies