I know! on the one hand it seems so obvious and on the other hand it seems nuts. But, I was sitting in the bathtub last night and that\'s usually when I think of him...well...ONE of the times. And I know I was still thinking everyday: I love you, R..Well, last night after I thought that it occurred to me: What if I didn\'t? What if I didnt\' love him anymore? What if I allowed myself to NOT love him anymore. I mean why should I? I was not the one who gave up, broke vows, was not willing to work things out. So even though I had vowed to love him till death do us part, that contract was broken the second he went to an online dating site. So why allow myself to still love him? That doesn\'t mean I don\'t, but I\'m thinking if I tell myself long enough that I don\'t, eventually I will not and I will know that I don\'t.
The first year after a divorce is the hardest. You have to go through all the holidays that drag memories up. Try and look at it like he\'s somebody else\'s problem now.
Yeah, true. I\'m on the second year. But we live in a very very small town and he brought her here to marry for better for worse (#4). He definitely is her problem and she doesn\'t know that yet. It\'s a long story, but giving myself permission to not care about him anymore is a huge step for me.
Replies
Keep it up! No contact is truly helpful.
Oh Jackie this is huge!! Well done!!
It must feel good to be doing what you need to to take care of yourself. Keep this up!
I\'m.....wary...Too many times I\'ve thought I had it conquered only to find out I didn\'t...but doing my best...
I think giving yourself permission to not love him is an excellent idea.
I know! on the one hand it seems so obvious and on the other hand it seems nuts. But, I was sitting in the bathtub last night and that\'s usually when I think of him...well...ONE of the times. And I know I was still thinking everyday: I love you, R..Well, last night after I thought that it occurred to me: What if I didn\'t? What if I didnt\' love him anymore? What if I allowed myself to NOT love him anymore. I mean why should I? I was not the one who gave up, broke vows, was not willing to work things out. So even though I had vowed to love him till death do us part, that contract was broken the second he went to an online dating site. So why allow myself to still love him? That doesn\'t mean I don\'t, but I\'m thinking if I tell myself long enough that I don\'t, eventually I will not and I will know that I don\'t.
The first year after a divorce is the hardest. You have to go through all the holidays that drag memories up. Try and look at it like he\'s somebody else\'s problem now.
Yeah, true. I\'m on the second year. But we live in a very very small town and he brought her here to marry for better for worse (#4). He definitely is her problem and she doesn\'t know that yet. It\'s a long story, but giving myself permission to not care about him anymore is a huge step for me.