5/16/2013

Funny I guess, that I dont seem to write when things are going ok. some things I can talk to others about but somethings can only be written here. Good session with theraist yesterday. She says she can see such progress in me and the way i think compared to a year ago. Right now, except fot tripping now and then, it's mostly just the stuff about my mom and dad that get me down.Thar will get better eventually, I know.
On the other front, it's been about a week since there's been any contact. He called a week ago about the jury summons and then I saw him a couple days later and THAT sent me in to a tailspin...but doing ok right now. Yes, he's still on my mind. I still tend to see things and immediately relate it to him. A college friend posted some pics on FB today. Pics of when we re rommies in college. i see that bright shining smiling face and I wonder..what happened to her. and I think, what would HE think if he saw these pics...I will be so glad when I reach a point where none of my thoughts lead to him...Outside of that--these pics put me in tears. I wonder if that's odd. I don't want to be young again. I like who I am now. I'm not sure why the tears. As much as I loved college and my friends-and I loved them all dearly-I just don't remember ever in my whole life smiling like that. I must have though, huh.

Replies

trisha9054
trisha9054

You don\'t think so now but you will smile again. Any contact seems to set us all back. I think I\'ve got past that point of wondering about the ex.
jaclyn1973
jaclyn1973

Yeah, I know I will. I laugh now. Thank God for crazy friends who adopt baby goats without telling their husbands first. Funny thing about pictures from the past. I either go BLECH (which is the norm) or whaaaa? i\'ve had friends show me pics from years ago and I\'ll say--\"Who is that?\" and they look at me like I\'m nuts, cause I never was a laughing,smiling kinda person and i don\'t recognize myself-lol.