Exhausted
Just spent the last hour crying in the yard. The whole day has been hellish; the morning fight, sadness, fatigue, achiness and digestive issues. I went to brunch with my DH and daughter, afterwhich we were going to Target to get a few things. When we got there, I was too exhausted to go in, so I sat at Starbucks while they did their errand.
Went home, took a short nap, but was feeling too uncomfortable to sleep, so I grabbed some water and a clean hand towel and went to sit in the yard and cry.
Now it's a headache, and the still rolling digestive system...and I'm just exhausted.
We're going to visit my aunts in a couple days, and I haven't done much to get ready. Not only am I anxious about being menopausal for any amount of time that we're there, but also she has her 8-yr-old grandson with her, and I don't want him to think I am a whacked out nut case, crying hysterically over nothing.
I just want it to stop. Everyone else's lives go on, but during a bout, mine stops. I am so overwhelmed with pain, fatigue, sadness, anger, depression, etc. that nothing else matters. That we need eggs, and the laundry should be started, that the garden is doing well, and tomorrow the sun will rise....I don't care. ALL I am experiencing is the s**t of menopause. It fills my brain, my body, my mind, and my soul, and leaves absolutely no room for anything else. Even time seems to stand still; I can't fathom that there will be a tonight.
I want it to stop. Enough already.
Went home, took a short nap, but was feeling too uncomfortable to sleep, so I grabbed some water and a clean hand towel and went to sit in the yard and cry.
Now it's a headache, and the still rolling digestive system...and I'm just exhausted.
We're going to visit my aunts in a couple days, and I haven't done much to get ready. Not only am I anxious about being menopausal for any amount of time that we're there, but also she has her 8-yr-old grandson with her, and I don't want him to think I am a whacked out nut case, crying hysterically over nothing.
I just want it to stop. Everyone else's lives go on, but during a bout, mine stops. I am so overwhelmed with pain, fatigue, sadness, anger, depression, etc. that nothing else matters. That we need eggs, and the laundry should be started, that the garden is doing well, and tomorrow the sun will rise....I don't care. ALL I am experiencing is the s**t of menopause. It fills my brain, my body, my mind, and my soul, and leaves absolutely no room for anything else. Even time seems to stand still; I can't fathom that there will be a tonight.
I want it to stop. Enough already.
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