I'm back
Hello, my dear menos!
I was rather hoping that I was over this, especially after that last entry....but it's still here, so I've returned.
..and I don't want to be taking any more hormones because I've got cancer on both sides of my family, and besides, I wouldn't want to take hormones forever, and when I stop, I'd start menopause all over again!!
My last period was September 2009, so as of September 2010, I 've been in menopause. That was almost 3 1/2 years ago....and the symptoms keep coming.
While like epileptic seizures, I never know when the symptoms will hit, unlike the seizures, I never know how long a bout will last, nor how hard. At the beginning of January, I had 10 days of hell, including two seizures and two major panic attacks. When it finally slowed down, I was so exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally...that I caught a cold! Talk about a one-two punch.
Today, I started out fine! I was planning to go out and do some shopping (particularly since I spent most of January on the couch). Late in the morning, I felt sleepy so I took a nap. After 20 minutes, I woke up, and was immediately hit with anxiety, dread, shaking, headache, rolling stomach, and all the other symptoms I get. I KNOW this isn't all mental; I WOKE UP like this. And it's not the first time, not by any stretch of the imagination.
My neurologist prescribed an anti-depressant, but I don't want to become dependent on those. But how to get through the fear and dread without drugs? When I'm in the middle of it, I turn into a 5-yr-old; unable to think about how I've had this before, and how it will pass. All I know is that right NOW, I'm feeling Horrible, that I'm losing control, that I can't think straight...that it's overwhelming me and I'm shaking and terrified. Thank goodness for my husband; he holds me when he's here, and when he's not, talks to me until I'm at least a little more stable.
But he's not always here...and I can't always get him on the phone.
I wish to any deity ever that this would stop, and stop NOW. I need to get on with my life, which I can't do while in the throes of the Menopause Demon. I'm in my early 50's and I feel like I'm 89.
I'm returning to counseling in two days.
I'll let you know what transpires.
I was rather hoping that I was over this, especially after that last entry....but it's still here, so I've returned.
..and I don't want to be taking any more hormones because I've got cancer on both sides of my family, and besides, I wouldn't want to take hormones forever, and when I stop, I'd start menopause all over again!!
My last period was September 2009, so as of September 2010, I 've been in menopause. That was almost 3 1/2 years ago....and the symptoms keep coming.
While like epileptic seizures, I never know when the symptoms will hit, unlike the seizures, I never know how long a bout will last, nor how hard. At the beginning of January, I had 10 days of hell, including two seizures and two major panic attacks. When it finally slowed down, I was so exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally...that I caught a cold! Talk about a one-two punch.
Today, I started out fine! I was planning to go out and do some shopping (particularly since I spent most of January on the couch). Late in the morning, I felt sleepy so I took a nap. After 20 minutes, I woke up, and was immediately hit with anxiety, dread, shaking, headache, rolling stomach, and all the other symptoms I get. I KNOW this isn't all mental; I WOKE UP like this. And it's not the first time, not by any stretch of the imagination.
My neurologist prescribed an anti-depressant, but I don't want to become dependent on those. But how to get through the fear and dread without drugs? When I'm in the middle of it, I turn into a 5-yr-old; unable to think about how I've had this before, and how it will pass. All I know is that right NOW, I'm feeling Horrible, that I'm losing control, that I can't think straight...that it's overwhelming me and I'm shaking and terrified. Thank goodness for my husband; he holds me when he's here, and when he's not, talks to me until I'm at least a little more stable.
But he's not always here...and I can't always get him on the phone.
I wish to any deity ever that this would stop, and stop NOW. I need to get on with my life, which I can't do while in the throes of the Menopause Demon. I'm in my early 50's and I feel like I'm 89.
I'm returning to counseling in two days.
I'll let you know what transpires.
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