Memories
This was actually partly a reply to someone else's question. But I have been thinking of this for a while.
I thought everything was finally going well and for once I could have good luck without something bad happening.
I had an odd moment where I remembered when we first went out. One morning I was leaving for work and burst out crying with stress. I was exhausted. He convinced me to call in to work then took me to a museum in Glasgow I had never been to. Just to cheer me up.
I remember the first time we showed an interest in each other. I remember our first kiss. He took me to a zoo for my first birthday with him. I remember our first christmas and valentines. Meeting all his family for the first time. I remember lazy days in and great days out. I remember one day when all we did was watch the matrix movies and....ahem. I remember dozing off in bed cuddling our cat while listening to the sounds of his computer game. That was the best I ever slept.
I remember the first time he told me he loved me.
That is just a taster. I remember everything.He was a good guy. But he became selfish. Scared. He opened my heart, spent years with me then left. And I still don't have the definitive reason. So I try block out the good memories and bad. I got rid of five years worth of photos and happy memories. My most prized possessions from him. A clockwork heart necklace. The first sketchbook he ever bought me. And the last. The last had written in it "Love you always"
Which is apparently 6 months. That was how long it took from the book, to asking me to move in, to leaving me.
I loved my ex and the relationship we had. But I do wonder how great it was if he could leave so quickly and suddenly? And what for. How many of my happy memories are tinged with this.
I thought everything was finally going well and for once I could have good luck without something bad happening.
I had an odd moment where I remembered when we first went out. One morning I was leaving for work and burst out crying with stress. I was exhausted. He convinced me to call in to work then took me to a museum in Glasgow I had never been to. Just to cheer me up.
I remember the first time we showed an interest in each other. I remember our first kiss. He took me to a zoo for my first birthday with him. I remember our first christmas and valentines. Meeting all his family for the first time. I remember lazy days in and great days out. I remember one day when all we did was watch the matrix movies and....ahem. I remember dozing off in bed cuddling our cat while listening to the sounds of his computer game. That was the best I ever slept.
I remember the first time he told me he loved me.
That is just a taster. I remember everything.He was a good guy. But he became selfish. Scared. He opened my heart, spent years with me then left. And I still don't have the definitive reason. So I try block out the good memories and bad. I got rid of five years worth of photos and happy memories. My most prized possessions from him. A clockwork heart necklace. The first sketchbook he ever bought me. And the last. The last had written in it "Love you always"
Which is apparently 6 months. That was how long it took from the book, to asking me to move in, to leaving me.
I loved my ex and the relationship we had. But I do wonder how great it was if he could leave so quickly and suddenly? And what for. How many of my happy memories are tinged with this.
Replies
:( I\'m sorry for the loss of these things.
So you were together 5 years, but only lived together 6 mo.?
Well near the beginning he asked before as I had to leave my flat. I admit it was too soon but it was nice. About a year maybe less I asked randomly did he ever miss when we would visit each other. He admitted he wanted a chance to own his own place and we did it too quick. I was gutted but moved out. Since then I woild still stay at his the majority of the time but it was his flat.
Eventually he got a flat of his own (no flatmate) and wanted me to see it as I was worried about it. He did everything to reassure me and say that it would be great.
again we did stay together a lot. After the first break I made a point not to stay as much (though as usual he would often ask me to stay over) then came that valentines.
I told him my concerns considering before and he understood. I said id think on it.
so yeah. It was an odd situation. I could stay with him but not pay rent (I offered a lot) not have all my belongings there though I still had a lot again.
I agree we moved in too fast out of necessity. After a while if moving out we seemed ok again. He did everything to make up it seemed. Whether after a while he regretted it but didn\'t ask till that valentines I don\'t know.
It seems I don\'t really know or understand much anymore.