I made it ...

Well not only did I make it through the day, I had a couple of bonus points to show for it. 
  I woke yesterday morning asking for God to allow something from Patrick to show through for his brothers to know unmistakingly that it was not a coincidence. They call everything that. Especially my son David, who has lost his faith. 
 Every birthday and school function that Patrick had from the time he was nine, he would have me make monkey bread for him. It is an easy recipe and I loved doing it for him. I made it into his adulthood, even on his last birthday. I dropped it off at his house so it would be there when he got home. Eventually David started requesting it, SO I complied. 
  As I hZve mentioned before we are awaited placement for our daughter into a therapeutic boarding school in Vermont. We have been waiting since we contacted them in October of last year. We were told that she would be going in July, but it then got bumped to August with no date specified. We have been barely hanging on as her behaviors have escalated so much since Patrick died. He worked with troubled youth in a residential home most of his life, and he had a way with her. I do not. I am the one she spews upon. 
  yesterday morning as I was bringing to meet a friend for the night...first time in years she has been invited anywhere...I was whining in my head about why this was taking so long, when a thought came to me. It was probably prompted by a song I was listening to. I thought how everyday I bitch about it taking so long and I heard myself through God's ears. One day I cry to Him to take over and the next day tell Him just how to do it...Really, Lauri, how's that working for you...? Anyhoo, once I realized what I was doing, I dangerously prayed for forgiveness and really decided not to think about the date again..I meant it.
 When Inreturned home, I went yo check the progress of the garden digging..not much done. I went inside and asked David to run to the store and gept biscuits for the monkey bread. Neither of us had money so, that was out as well as the garden apparently. My plans for the shot. Then,my son Sam went to the food pantry to get some rations and came back with a box. Can you guess what they gave him for dessert ? I was shocked and then not so shocked to find a package of already cooked monkey bread...Oh that God of ours, He really came through. He let us see that He could send Patrick through loud and clear. I had no idea that monkey bread came prepared.  All those things are not coincidence. When I showed it to David, I saw his old smile and I know it stirred something in him. I was grateful.
 Then, the phone rang. It was the Fold (Kianna's boarding school) calling. I braced myself to hear the usual comment about it needs to be another month...and I reminded myself to be ok with that, and I was. It had been a wonderful day after all so.....then, I heard," Hi this is Cindy at the Fold. We have a date for you. How does August 19th sound ?" It sounds like my son is still busy trying to help me make it through today is how it sounds.
Thank you all for your wonderful words of encouragement yesterday. What a blessing you all are.