New Goal
Besides the writing I do here on this site for anyone to read if they want, I am also writing in my own separate journal. In that writing, I just write a lot of stream of consciousness, which is a lot of rambling, but it has really been helping me in my recovery.
Between being 4 days sober and reading and commenting on different peoples comments here, I have realized that rather than seeing if I can just cut back my drinking to the weekends only, and not more than 6 drinks total, that instead, I want to experience the whole year of 2014 sober.
One of the members here posted something like "What do you miss about drinking" and there were a lot of responses. My response was that I did not miss all of the drinks after the second one, which was every night. I would not completely ruin my next day, but there were more days that I felt bad instead of good, and it became a very negative thing in my life.
So I am back on my antidepressant and feeling much better with both my anxiety and depression, and there is much less stress in my life, so I thought I should cut back on my drinking, and start off by not drinking for 10 days. This is what I've realized: There is a good chance that it may be possible for me to go back to drinking moderately, but there is a bigger chance that I will go back to drinking the way I was (4 to 7 drinks a day every day) eventually. It's just in my nature, at least right now.
I feel so good and strong about my decision. I am not missing alcohol at all. Luckily, besides getting headaches (which normally I never get) I am not having any bad physical symptoms. I wake up every day feeling better than the day before.
Between being 4 days sober and reading and commenting on different peoples comments here, I have realized that rather than seeing if I can just cut back my drinking to the weekends only, and not more than 6 drinks total, that instead, I want to experience the whole year of 2014 sober.
One of the members here posted something like "What do you miss about drinking" and there were a lot of responses. My response was that I did not miss all of the drinks after the second one, which was every night. I would not completely ruin my next day, but there were more days that I felt bad instead of good, and it became a very negative thing in my life.
So I am back on my antidepressant and feeling much better with both my anxiety and depression, and there is much less stress in my life, so I thought I should cut back on my drinking, and start off by not drinking for 10 days. This is what I've realized: There is a good chance that it may be possible for me to go back to drinking moderately, but there is a bigger chance that I will go back to drinking the way I was (4 to 7 drinks a day every day) eventually. It's just in my nature, at least right now.
I feel so good and strong about my decision. I am not missing alcohol at all. Luckily, besides getting headaches (which normally I never get) I am not having any bad physical symptoms. I wake up every day feeling better than the day before.
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