Day 11
one day at a time.
it feels good to save myself.
only I can do it.
I say I am not in control but I am as long as I stay away from the casino
as long as I make the commitment to being free of gambling. It is my choice. One I make each moment, hour and day, one step in front of the other. I think of other commitments I make. They are not all comfortable but I make them because I want the end result. I take responsibility for myself in these commitments as a mother, a wife, an employee, a friend. In the same way I have to take conscious responsibility to stop gambling. Not with guilt or berating myself but with the desire for the end result. To stop the cycle of addiction and to stop hurting myself, to stop losing heard earned money. I do this, again by being proactive in my steps towards wellness. Keeping my focus on what I can do, where my supports are.
I have no other choice.
The alternative is a downward spiral to an even worse place than I have been.
There is only one thing I have to do.
Just one.
Gamble free day. One day at a time.
it feels good to save myself.
only I can do it.
I say I am not in control but I am as long as I stay away from the casino
as long as I make the commitment to being free of gambling. It is my choice. One I make each moment, hour and day, one step in front of the other. I think of other commitments I make. They are not all comfortable but I make them because I want the end result. I take responsibility for myself in these commitments as a mother, a wife, an employee, a friend. In the same way I have to take conscious responsibility to stop gambling. Not with guilt or berating myself but with the desire for the end result. To stop the cycle of addiction and to stop hurting myself, to stop losing heard earned money. I do this, again by being proactive in my steps towards wellness. Keeping my focus on what I can do, where my supports are.
I have no other choice.
The alternative is a downward spiral to an even worse place than I have been.
There is only one thing I have to do.
Just one.
Gamble free day. One day at a time.
Replies
Great entry. I just want to share something with you I consider these urges monsters that I must keep caged. I am the one that holds the key. I know should I ever let it loose it will wreak havoc. So I must be vigilante at all times. I\'d like to dedicate a song to you that has helped me very much. I love it. If I were brave: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nx4JkCALec. Hugs dear friend, ~Estel
Thank you so very much dear Estel. The song gave me goosebumps and I appreciated your reaching out. Hope your GF day today was one of relative ease.
Xo
Sabine.
:)