Day 10
morning of day 10 and I know I won't gamble today.
I don't know about tomorrow or the next day, my mind wants to jump ahead, wondering how much money I will save, what it will feel like to be at day 100 or a year or 10 years, but I keep bringing myself back to now.
When I quit smoking I really visualized myself as a non smoker as part of my recovery from that addiction.
Every time I look too far ahead with this addiction I feel anxious and bring myself back to now which is probably a good idea since I used gambling to escape now so much.
I am really feeling the stress of work right now. I am on call because my agency is 24 hours and I often get calls for overnight shift coverage. If I can't find someone then I am responsible to fill it. I usually go to bed by 10 and I am a a person that needs an incredible amount of sleep particularly when I am healing.
IT is making me want to quit a job that I otherwise enjoy.
I am puzzling out what to do.
I am not sure if right now is the time to make big life changing decisions like quitting but I also feel it's important to give myself an out for things that are really stressful to me. I don't want that particular responsibility anymore.
As part of a management team we all have to do it and we all hate it so what we are doing is trying to put a stand by body system into place.
Today I am praying that works because at the moment my biggest stress is that. I am burnt out completly on that.
I don't know about tomorrow or the next day, my mind wants to jump ahead, wondering how much money I will save, what it will feel like to be at day 100 or a year or 10 years, but I keep bringing myself back to now.
When I quit smoking I really visualized myself as a non smoker as part of my recovery from that addiction.
Every time I look too far ahead with this addiction I feel anxious and bring myself back to now which is probably a good idea since I used gambling to escape now so much.
I am really feeling the stress of work right now. I am on call because my agency is 24 hours and I often get calls for overnight shift coverage. If I can't find someone then I am responsible to fill it. I usually go to bed by 10 and I am a a person that needs an incredible amount of sleep particularly when I am healing.
IT is making me want to quit a job that I otherwise enjoy.
I am puzzling out what to do.
I am not sure if right now is the time to make big life changing decisions like quitting but I also feel it's important to give myself an out for things that are really stressful to me. I don't want that particular responsibility anymore.
As part of a management team we all have to do it and we all hate it so what we are doing is trying to put a stand by body system into place.
Today I am praying that works because at the moment my biggest stress is that. I am burnt out completly on that.
Replies
I\'m with you on the sleep thing. I used to be a nurse - years ago. I think about going back to it and know that I could never work nights again.
When I first got into therapy, one of the first things my therapist said was to not make any major decisions for the first couple of months. It was good advice.
Yay for TEN DAYS.
thank\'s it\'s good to have that reaffirmed. How are you feeling?