I'm tired. i stayed up late last night and it's catching up to me today. I had too musch wine. I'm feeling like shit today. I'm still happy but tired. I could only imagine what he feels like. Last night made me feel so proud to be  an African- American. I wish that MLK could've seen this. All the turmoil "we " went through seem to disappear at that very moment. It's not forgotten but just like a weight off my shoulders. I don't know how to truly express my inner feelings about this , all of this may seem confusing in words and on paper. I feel like I'm in love with everyone. Last night i kept saying "I'm I dreaming." I have followed this election closely. I hope and pray that he REALLY make a CHANGE. we can't get worse than now. I hope that everyone looks at his points of view and not his skin color. I believe that "we" have invented and helped build this country and no one ever said not to use this or that because it's by a black person so let's not start now. Ignorance is bliss.  anyway B 4 I get teary eyed. I'm suppose to have "sex company tonight". ihope everything goes as planned. CUZ i need some more and this time some GOOD penis. No sleepy di*k. and quick di*k. I wanted to celebrate lastnight but "it " had to work. 800-call-di*k. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. that was good. I hope mommy'll watch the kids. PRAY!!!! on another note, i've been tinking about Bingoboy and our talk the other night. it is safe to love someone froma distant and not have them to Love you back. I'm honest with him but I'm also scraced for him to love me . What if i mess up his life w/ all my BS. BP, herpes and just plain old me. that's alot for a person to love and understand. He know everything about me and that part is beautiful. But can a person really understand. He like the fact that I'm taking charge of my own mental health w/ no meds. I know he cares I'm just nervous. BRB