Tw

Even tho we haven't talked in weeks I still think about him every day. In my head I still l refer to him as daddy and still lcry over him in little space. I know it's pathetic but without daddy, a part of me is gone even tho I have tori. It's not the same. I'm depressed all the time. Lonely. Sometimes I wonder if anyone one would notice if I disappeared. I hate this feeling. Down 5 lbs this week.. 120 to go.. anas voice is louder than ever. I don't color anymore. Got a paci but the nipple is too small.  I just.. the memories are eating me alive. Sorry for wasting anyone's time who read this. I'll try to update more often but everyday is basically the same. I was pathetic and weak the other night. Daddy is the only person who could calm me. He is the only reason I didn't  cut but he doesn't love me or want me ans I knew that so It didn't help me..
Update:
Cut after 30 days clean and I no longer have a mommy anymore. She left me. So that just does wonders for my well being.