Day 43 . . .

Monday just flew by - - - I found out my husband was attending a meeting tonight and wouldn't be home until later - - - I of course had a fleeting thought about the casino, which was such a habit in the past when a window of time opened up.  I just dismissed it and went home... it really was no big deal; it just wasn't something I was going to act on and I just dove in the other direction, towards home.  It made me feel good, actually and I was thinking - - was I really in control all the while?  I know the answer is yes, but it never felt like it when I was actively gambling... I felt like it was a force that I had 'no" control over. 
Safe in my house tonight . . . on to Day 44. :]



Great insights Smokey! I was trying to get a handle on why my CG has control over me and you stated it well -- it really doesn\'t this is just a trick the addiction plays in our minds so it won\'t have to die.