The weekend . . .

Well, here it is Saturday - usually the biggest casino day for me. Right now I'm sipping a wonderful cup of coffee and making a list of the tasks I have to do today, which includes going to the mall to use a gift card. :] to buy some new clothes... I'm 15 days in and feeling pretty good.  I have to admit visiting the site frequently helps . . . actually chatted with a few people from time to time when we found eachother on line.  I had a talk with my husband the other night about gambling - he has always been very logical about it - plain and simple - he's always realized the dangers for me and told me many years ago that I had a disease.  He hates casinos and we had always been opposites in that way...  I feel so much closer to him when I am staying away... I can be honest, myself, and carefree... otherwise when I know I've been there without his knowing I'm guarded and not free to be who I am.  We've been married a long time and I"m sure that the times I thought he didn't know I went, he actually DID know.  Back in 03, I had my car stolen from a casino lot along with my identity, etc., long story - it caused us a lot of problems and at that time my husband thought I was through with it ---- of course I continued to go back, and back, and back.  Now it's over and right now I feel very relieved.  I can live life and I feel safe.  I was thinking about that this morning - how I felt "safe" in my kitchen and didn't plan to go out there.. It's a funny word, though - safe - from what?  I guess the demons that take a hold of me when I'm gambling.  On another note, I have a new image - I went to have my hair cut and colored the other day; I have worn it long with blondish streaks for a long time, but it needed a lot of help.  Anyway, the stylist colored it and it turned out to be darker than I've ever worn it and chin length.  I look like a totally different person... so my husband walks in and says where's Pat??  He loves it and when I went to work I got tons of complements.  Another part of my fresh new start this year. Well I've rambled enough - time to do the tasks on the list. Hope everyone is well and GF!Hugs,Smokeygirl