So, I'm in a bad mood again tonight. And I'm too tired again to find my way out. My wife calls me bad things, and in one part of my head I know she's right.  In another part I know that she's wrong.  I'm only listing to the part where I know she's right, for now. I'm lazy.  I should be doing more. I leave messes.  I don't know how to love her any more. And I know I'm wallowing.  I can't seem to come up for air. I don't have the strength.  And even if I rise to the surface I'll either fall under or get pushed under again. Damn it, I'm working myself deeper.  Damn it, I don't WANT to hurt like this. It's way too late and I'm way too sleepy.  Maybe I'll feel beter again in the morning.