Well, I had a mediocre day.  I'm in kind of a new place now.  I'm seeing my wife more for where she is and for how I respond to her, and I've been reacting emotionally again.  That isn't going to work for either of us.  As much as I hate to say it, being numb for a while longer is the only way to survive in this environment.  I can't let her eat away at my soul.  Unless I bury my emotions, that will be exactly what happens. That said, I am still going to persue family counceling.  I have a shrink appointment tomorrow, and I'm going to print out some of my journal entries to take with me and read to him.  I'm interested to see his reaction.  Anyway, this emotional retreat is temporary.  Somehow I'm going to get to the point where we are BOTH well.  It may take me another 30 years, but so be it. So I'm going to avoid whining journal entries and group posts.  I'll cry for help if I really need it.  But, well, we'll see. I'm gonna see if I can put the smile back on Yoda's face in the morning.  :)