I feel both good and bad about yesterday. The good? I spent a lot of time on these boards, made jokes, gave decent advice, brightened a lot of spirits and picked up on some good tips for myself. The bad? I spent most of my afternoon at work doing it, and now there is a project at work looming that I don\'t think I can get done on time.
Which means I am still in crisis. I felt so sharp yesterday that I felt like I could take on the world. But I\'m still hiding. And something out there is still terrifying me.
Reflexive thoughts. My next words wanted to be \"I don\'t want to go on like this.\" Which is, of course, true. But I wanted to mean them in the dramatic, end it all but not really sense, and that is not where my head is at all. How many times do we say things just because they are part of the script and they sound like what we think we should say? And then our emotions follow the script, rather than try to analyze where they REALLY are.
For all the positive that I accomplished yesterday, my mood is almost wholly reflected in that one project. It was to damned important to slough off, and I did it anyway. Sigh.
Oh well. I\'ll get through this day somehow. I have too much to do to be on the boards much today, regardless of what else happens. See you all later, my friends.
Big Hugs - I can see how much inner strength you have. Your plate is full, as is mine & yet you are on DS cheering others up with your intelligence & sharp wit. There is no greater gift than helping others. With gratitude & admiration, Jazzi
\"My next words wanted to be \"I don\'t want to go on like this.\" Which is, of course, true. But I wanted to mean them in the dramatic, end it all but not really sense, and that is not where my head is at all. How many times do we say things just because they are part of the script and they sound like what we think we should say? And then our emotions follow the script, rather than try to analyze where they REALLY are.\"
These are such strong words of wisdom. I haven\'t heard anything so philosophical in a long time. I love to hear things that really make me think.
Replies
I feel both good and bad about yesterday. The good? I spent a lot of time on these boards, made jokes, gave decent advice, brightened a lot of spirits and picked up on some good tips for myself. The bad? I spent most of my afternoon at work doing it, and now there is a project at work looming that I don\'t think I can get done on time.
Which means I am still in crisis. I felt so sharp yesterday that I felt like I could take on the world. But I\'m still hiding. And something out there is still terrifying me.
Reflexive thoughts. My next words wanted to be \"I don\'t want to go on like this.\" Which is, of course, true. But I wanted to mean them in the dramatic, end it all but not really sense, and that is not where my head is at all. How many times do we say things just because they are part of the script and they sound like what we think we should say? And then our emotions follow the script, rather than try to analyze where they REALLY are.
For all the positive that I accomplished yesterday, my mood is almost wholly reflected in that one project. It was to damned important to slough off, and I did it anyway. Sigh.
Oh well. I\'ll get through this day somehow. I have too much to do to be on the boards much today, regardless of what else happens. See you all later, my friends.
Big Hugs - I can see how much inner strength you have. Your plate is full, as is mine & yet you are on DS cheering others up with your intelligence & sharp wit. There is no greater gift than helping others. With gratitude & admiration, Jazzi
i agree with jazzergirl.....keep your chin up......
\"My next words wanted to be \"I don\'t want to go on like this.\" Which is, of course, true. But I wanted to mean them in the dramatic, end it all but not really sense, and that is not where my head is at all. How many times do we say things just because they are part of the script and they sound like what we think we should say? And then our emotions follow the script, rather than try to analyze where they REALLY are.\"
These are such strong words of wisdom. I haven\'t heard anything so philosophical in a long time. I love to hear things that really make me think.