Today

Today I have turned 43 years old.  I am trying to keep my smile as my husband wished me a happy birthday this morning and gave me $50.00.  My cousin Tammy called @ 7:15 wishing me a happy birthday.  Logan (Josh's girlfriend) sent me a text wishing me Happy Birthday and that she loves me.  My mama calls next.  Then I get to work and have birthday cards and donuts.  Toni (My best friend) calls and asked me to step outside.  Baked cookies, pedicure gift certificate and cards.  I love all of these people, but damn it is hard to celebrate my birthday when Josh will never have another one.  I have already lived 27 years more than he did.  He has been heavy on my heart this morning and no one knows it.  I put on my make up to hide behind it.  Trying to put on a happy face is so hard.  But that is what I must do to make it through the day.