I just do not know if I can survive another holiday without Josh. My anniversary trip to the beach was good. Good Rhonda & John time. Well we left again Tuesday night and came by late yesterday afternoon so we could be back in time for the fireworks. As the fireworks were going off so did the tears. I could not hold them back. I told John I hate holidays and did not know if I can survive another one without Josh. But, one thing that I know Josh is loving. John "tagged" a train for him. We were sitting close by a train with alot of graffiti. My nephew and I walked around it and found and marker laying on the ground. Well, he and John went back and my husband wrote Josh McIntosh in the puffy letters with a bunch of people around. I told him Josh was smiling down on him. He made Josh proud. I just miss him so much. Why??????????????? Why US????????????? I need my Josh back. My life is not worth a grain of salt without him and I just don't know how to keep going.
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we just keep going. every day we wonder how do we get thru another day. yet, somehow we do. i wish i had the answers for all of us. i truly do. glad you and John had some time together. that is very good! love the tagging the train! i bet Josh loved it! love you!! .... charlayne
When you lose your only child, like we have, we know how hard it is to face the days ahead-however, after learning so much about Josh I just know that, just like Chris, he would be in your face telling you that he wants you to carry on and be happy-well right now all we can do is just carry on each day-and hope that one day a little happiness starts to creep back in again. But each day, just ask Josh to help you find a reason to go on-oh, and how amazing that we end up taking on some of our kid\'s personality-I bet you used to get on him for marking things, just like we did with Chris, and now John turns around and does it himself-way to go John-yes, Josh was right there laughing his behind off as his Dad made his mark!
By taking baby steps everyday. We also have no choice. Two things that help me. The end of everyday is one day closer to Jake and when I leave this earth, Jake will be there to get me. These keep me going. Lots of hugs, Jake\'s mom, Kathy
By putting one foot ahead of the other and repeating till another day has gone by. I found it easier to face the holidays if I changed them from anything I had ever done when John was alive, not easy but not as gut wrenchingly hard. i have thought a great deal about the Why question and as good as I can find is Why not us. We are not so special we should have pain removed from our lives we are not so special someone else should be the one to suffer, so why not us. Not much comfort I suppose but I was driving myself and everyone else crazy with the question to which there is no acceptable answer. Hugs Cathy
As time goes by this pain should lessen (so I am told). Christmas time is when I will really suffer because my Victoria died during that season. I will definitely need support then. Josh is still with you, just in a different state of being. The train thing was excellent!