Will I ever put on a happy face again? I doubt it. Life sucks with Josh and that is all there is to it. I went to the beach and tried to have a good time this weekend, but got sick and had to come home and was sick all weekend. I am sitting here at work and don't want to be. I want Josh!!!!!!!!! I want to see his smile one time. I want to hear his voice. How do I get through this? My aunt ask me this weekend this question "You are still have a hard time. It's not getting better." People that have not lost a child has no earthly idea. Today I just want to go climb in a whole beside of Josh. Help Me Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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We have all been there I am still there. People don\'t understand at all. Yesterday a friend of mine told me she understood because there were times that she still wanted to call her mother to ask her a question and couldn\'t. She still missed her and it had been 10 years. I just looked at her with this look on my face as how stupid do you think you sound to me right now. There is no comparison. Just keep puttingone foot infront of the other and let us help you. Lots of hugs coming from me. I have also started lighting a candle everyday in front of Donalds picture and today I will light one for Josh.
Don\'t listen to People who ask that stupid question! They don\'t know that our pain is forever and a day. Hang on my sweet friend, I am here to talk if you need me. I hurt and I try to have fun, but it is impossible. All I think about is my Angel Gilbert. I love you and I understand your pain. Love Melissa
What we are going through is the pits.No choice.
Rhonda, I am keeping you close to my heart and praying for you. I also want Emile here with me, not there where he is!!! Don\'t even give a 2nd thought to what people say, they have no clue what they are talking about. It drives me up the wall hearing what people say to me. Blessed Be, Rea mom of Emile
I totally understand how you feel. Your process is your own. Nobody can tell you how to feel or how long you should feel it. It is unique to you. Josh IS at peace and I\'m sure he wants you to be, also. God bless you. Mom18..Marge
my boyfriend got mad at me cause i have been going to the cemetary everyday and I said I need to water the flowers and he said \"everyday?\" well we shouldnt have to explain to people what we are doing and why we are doing what we are doing, but they just dont get it and they never will. we dont want this but we have no choice. remember we would go through the pain again if we could spend the same amount of time with them again and we would never take back our time with our babies to not feel this pain, they are so worth it, but it really does suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you are such a good momma and your baby knows how much you love him!!!!!!!!! take care
love alissa
You will be able to smile someday with your wonderful memories of Josh-but it will take time. People really are so out of it when it comes to this-my friend lost her 12 year old and one month later her own mother said to her, \"I guess you\'re about over it now.\" My boss told me about 3 months after Chris died, \"well I guess things are getting back to normal.\" They just have no idea and I truly hope they never do-I know so well how you feel about just wanting to see Josh\'s face or hear his voice-I long to hear Chris come in the door and say, \"hey Mom\"-in that special way he had. I think we will always miss all those things until we see our babes again!
Rhonda, unless they\'ve buried a child, they have no idea the depth of the pain and anquish. Even my wonderful husband see\'s me on a \"good\" day and thinks, OK, great, she\'s all better now. Then the next day (or next hour) sees me crying and can\'t figure out why. It\'s hard not to get mad, but I just tell myself he/they don\'t understand. It\'s getting easier to ignore the stupidity of others, but it still hurts sometimes. And yes, dear friend, you will put on a happy face again, a true, and honest happy face. There IS happiness for us. There IS a life of joy for us. And our experiencing those happy times and living in joy does not mean we do not grieve, or do not love, or do not remember our children. This is all so hard to accept, so hard to deal with, but we must. We must do it for our children and we must do it for ourselves. You have the strength and you will continue your life and you will continue to make Josh proud. Please remember dear friend, Josh is NOT in a hole. So if you allow yourself to climb in one you\'ll just be there alone. Josh is everywhere you are in this life, forever! He sees you, he hears you, he loves you everyday. He\'s your biggest cheerleader right now. Just listen....can\'t you hear him saying \"I love you mom, you\'re gonna be ok, I\'m right here helping you\"?
Living to make Kala proud,
Teri
Teri captured it all. There IS a life of joy for us and we are here to help each other. Lots of love, Karen