I have had a terrible week this week. I have cried everyday. I have not done that in a while. I am sitting here at work now and feel like just crying my eyeballs out. I am so sick and tried of putting on a happy face and the whole time dying in on the inside. I have been like this Mother's Day. I don't want to be around anybody, but I have to. I miss Josh so bad I think it is actually killing me. A long slow painful death. I had a really bad yesterday. I had Josh on my mind alot, the accident everything. I went home and John and I talked a little. We went out and dinner with some friends. When we went to be I asked him to please his arm around me because I really needed a hug from somebody. What did I get? Nothing!!! Just his back facing me. I WANT MY JOSH BACK. I WANT MY LIFE BACK THAT I HAD BEFORE. MORE THAN ANYTHING I WANT JOSH!!!!!!!!!!! TO SPEAK TO HIM, TO HEAR HIM LAUGH. TO ARGUE WITH HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU MY JOSHIE POOH. MAMA
Replies
I\'ve been there and done that and my suggestion to you is honor your feelings. If you feel like crying cry. If you feel like screaming scream. I found getting in my car and driving out into the country, then stopping and screaming and crying and cursing and anything else you wanted to do worked for me. Remember John also has his own grief to deal with. Try to be easy on yourself and John.
Don\'t be so hard on yourself. You have to let yourself feel what you are feeling. I hope things start to get better for you.