Josh, Honey in your memory this morning I am burning a incense and candle. Josh, Jordie (your bestfriend) sent me a mothers day present yesterday and I would like to share it with you and my sisters here. The following was in a beautiful frame.

A MOTHERS'S LOSS

On Lord, you stole my sunshine,
My reason to exist...
The very core of who I am,
Now something is amiss.

The very happiness of life,
That once was mine each day...
Has now been taken from me,
Please help me, Oh Lord, I pray.

I have struggled since that day,
To make sense of God's plant...
But this is too much to bear,
It is simply too much to stand!

How can I go on without him?
Oh, these feelings of depair...
How can I live my life,
Without him being there?

This gut wrenching pain,
That lives down deep in my heart...
Knowing you are no longer here,
Of my life to be a part.

An intricate part of who I am,
You started as such a small seed...
You grew there inside of me,
Fulfilling a maternal instinct and need.

I now live my life in quiet desperation,
A scream wells deep inside...
I hold it back,
It does not fade, but in my soul resides.

The anger and the torment,
Of losing one so dear...
A life so quickly taken,
A mother's greatest fear.

You could have taken me, Oh Loard,
And left him here to live...
He deserved a longer lifetime,
He had so much more to give!

Every ounce of who I am,
Demands that he be here...
So that I can protect and love him
And give all I have to give.

I am but one small soul,
In this vast universe you see...
So small and insignificant,
But, Oh Lord, Please hear my plea,

Help me to understand this,
The reason and the rhyme...
Why life can be so unjust,
So cruel and so unkind.

I miss his gentle smile
So Innocent and sweet...
I miss the sensitive sound of his voice,
He made my life complete.

This is beyond my comprehension,
That this had to be...
I know that I must trust in you, Oh Lord,
But shouldn't it have been me?

Josh, Every word is true. Why didn't he take me instead. Like I said I am no good without you. I am getting ready to sit with you a while this morning. I am taking one of your incense and burning it for you. I love you very much. Mama

To my sisters, I wish each one of you a happy's mother day and hope we will find some kind of peace today. Please keep in mind the new mothers. I heard on the news last night a family lost a 17 girl in a car accident. The family was away attending her sister's graduation. This mother has lost her child so close to Mother's Day. I wll be thinking of all of you today. Love, Rhonda