Today is Tuesday and I made it to work. My plans are to make it all day. My heart and soul still ache so bad I can hardly stand it. I miss Josh so much. How can life be so cruel? How can my life go on without him? I think I am having such a hard time because of the holiday coming up. Then May we have mother's day. I will probably go sit with Josh most of that day. Then we have father's day. John is having a hard time but does not know how to express it. I worry about him so much. Josh, honey I love you.