Well I thought yesterday was going to make day number two without crying. I was fine until I got home. No Josh. John hadn't got home yet. I hate going home by myself. I got angry screaming Why? Why my Josh? Then I went into his room and had a melt down. I just miss him so much. Tomorrow will be 3 months. Tomorrow is supposed to be 80 degrees. I am going to take out some new flowers and sit with him a while. This is the most terrible feeling I have ever had. But, I have to keep on going for Josh. Josh, I love you with all of my heart. You were my angel and now you are in heaven. One of God's angels. Love your mama, Rhonda
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Darling Rhonda,
I am so sorry you have lost your precious son Josh. My heart truly aches for you. I too lost my world on Jan 2, 2007 when my 17 yr old daughter Kala was killed in an auto accident. She was forced off the road by another vehicle and died instantly.
There is no greater pain. There are no words to describe the ache, the torment, the pain. I have been very angry also. I have screamed at God to give her back. I have screamed at the idiot who caused the accident, I have screamed at myself for letting her go out that night, I have screamed at the car salesman who sold us her new car, I have screamed at the world. I know your pain and anguish.
I have found that walking in the sunshine seems to help. I talk to Kala out loud and tell her everything. I read every message aloud to her. I tell her everyday how much I love and miss her. I read all the comments from this site to her. I will tell her about Josh. All of this helps me. And when I listen, really listen, I hear her talking to me. She has spoken to me three times so far that I\'ve heard. There are probably more times that I have missed.
I have slept in her bed many nights, worn her clothes, perfume, jewelry....anything to be closer to her.
I have to say my greatest comfort is in sharing her life with others. It is the best therapy for me. My only true reason for living any more. I promised to make her proud and I am determined to do so.
I am here for you anytime. I would love to know more about your wonderful son and the adventures of his life.
God keep you and peace be upon you.
Smiling for Kala,
Teri
I believe you heard your Kala speak to you! We hear Branden and things happen that can\'t be explained.
If you want read \"don\'t kiss them good-bye\" by Allison DuBois.
my heart goes out to you.i have exactly the same feelings.hugs.