Friends
So, I have a lot of friends, or acquaintances that see my ex around from time to time. Up until now she has been keeping her new relationship a secret. Even telling people that we were fine when they asked.
I thought i had found a little piece the last day, and then a friend told me that he saw them on a date today, and worse, she was literally all over this new guy. It has stung me a lot, but I have realized that I have not been dealing with this whole situation the right way. I have been trying to hate her, trying to be angry with her and all of these negative feelings to stop loving her. The fact is, that i still love her. I need to accept that I still love her, accept that she is with someone else now and that she wants nothing to do with me. I need to let her be free, because that is what it means to truly love someone and in time hopefully I will fall out of love with her.
All this anger and hate is not healthy for me, I have only love in my heart and sadness. A tinge of jealousy too now maybe, but still... I can love her from afar, and accept that we were not right for each other.
I know that her actions were wrong, and the cheating and the lies are bad, but that information alone is not enough to just stop loving someone, I realize that now. Her Ideals do not align with mine, I would never treat someone like that, yet in some screwed up way, the lies were to protect me from pain, and she has probably been feeling out of love with me for a long time to end up doing this.
I will find something better for myself, but not somebody else. I will find some better way to live my life by myself. I will be a person that does not need a girlfriend, does not need love to be happy. To quote sarah siskind "Lovin's for fools"
I thought i had found a little piece the last day, and then a friend told me that he saw them on a date today, and worse, she was literally all over this new guy. It has stung me a lot, but I have realized that I have not been dealing with this whole situation the right way. I have been trying to hate her, trying to be angry with her and all of these negative feelings to stop loving her. The fact is, that i still love her. I need to accept that I still love her, accept that she is with someone else now and that she wants nothing to do with me. I need to let her be free, because that is what it means to truly love someone and in time hopefully I will fall out of love with her.
All this anger and hate is not healthy for me, I have only love in my heart and sadness. A tinge of jealousy too now maybe, but still... I can love her from afar, and accept that we were not right for each other.
I know that her actions were wrong, and the cheating and the lies are bad, but that information alone is not enough to just stop loving someone, I realize that now. Her Ideals do not align with mine, I would never treat someone like that, yet in some screwed up way, the lies were to protect me from pain, and she has probably been feeling out of love with me for a long time to end up doing this.
I will find something better for myself, but not somebody else. I will find some better way to live my life by myself. I will be a person that does not need a girlfriend, does not need love to be happy. To quote sarah siskind "Lovin's for fools"
Replies
I think is great that you admit those negative feelings are not helping you, in my particular case it was the opposite, it was the anger what let me sort of start moving on, but everyone\'s different.
I\'d be careful not letting this situation makes you bitter towards love though, of course we all need to learn to be happy with ourselves and not think a relationship will save our soul, but don\'t close to the opportunity of someday in the future meeting someone who will truly and completely love you.
In my case I also have some friends that see him pretty much every day, but I asked them to not tell me anything about him because it only made me feel sad.
Anyway, this is a process, and of course your feeelings cannot go away overnight, but eventually the pain will be gone :)