Busy

    Wow, I've been pretty busy yesterday and today. Mostly trying to get this place clean. I got another job offer, but I didn't want it after all. I didn't go to Labour Ready either. I thought about it, but I'm doing alright as it is. I don't want to do something that I might get in trouble with. I'm staying sober. That's my focuse.
   Went to a couple of meetings last night. The first one was at Seaton House. that's about the worst shelter for men in Toronto. I wanted to see the place. I've heard about it, but never been there.
   Well, what a nightmare the place is. I went to the meeting, and there were two other guys there, and a few residents that looked like they were sleeping. this young guy was the speaker, and he really bombed out. I think he was trying to sound like a counselor, or circuit speaker. he was using all this self analyzing, and fancy wording that I knew the guys there were just not relating to. I wasn't either. he seemed like someone that was pretending that he had, "Been there." But I could sense that it was bullshit. I wasn't disappointed though. It was an experience.
   The whole place was an experience. It reminded me like a prison the way it's set up. And outside I was really shocked. I stood in this fenced in area by the front, having a smoke while I just watched what was going on. there were about 40 people there. some looked like gangsters, others your typical down and out kind. Everyone that I seen were either counting crack cocain rocks to sell, or they were smoking rock right in the open. It was incredible. Right in front of the place with no staff doing a thing, and not a cop at all. I even passed by a guy lighting his crack in a stem on the stairs in the building. I swear I didn't see one person who wasn't smoking or selling crack.
   Anyway, I got away from there, and yes I was tempted, and I had money on me. But it only took a couple of seconds to see how my mind was tricking me. I went away and decided to go to another meeting since it was still early. I had a good time at the next meeting. it was so much better, and they had cake to cellibrate a birthday.
    So tomorrow I will be painting, so I may not be here. I'm also working on this job in Milton. Have to kind of bullshit my way into it, because I don't have a car or all the equipment, but I'm working on it to see what I can do. This will take a miracle. See if I can pull a rabbit out of a hat here.
   Anyway, I spent the whole day cleaning. This place is so filthy. Really incredible that they don't have a cleaner. They need one for sure.
   So I got a Metro pass for the T.T.C. Frigging this cost $140.00. Wow!!! Now I'm wondering if it was really worth it. I've come to enjoy my walking now, and don't intend to stop it for the meetings. Not sure if this pass will be worth it. I'll see.
    Anyway, closing time. I have to go. Thank you Lord.