Day 7
Today is a good day so far. feeling a bit tired, but that's because I'm usually in bed by 9pm. I don't use the shelter to socialize, so after my meetings that's about the end of the day for me.
Things are still bothering me about this one staff member. I was hoping that this other guy that I trust would be on last night, but he wasn't. That was a let down because I was looking forward to talking to him about this. Anyway, he will most likely be there tonight, I hope.
My meeting last night was pretty good. It was at one of the oldest chapels in the city, and I just love the way it was built. There were some guys drinking whiskey in the park outside of it, and I had a flash thought of drinking. I suppose those will come and go always. I'm used to that from trying to get sober before.
I found the people a lot more comfortable to be with. They were friendly, shaking my hand and smiling. It's a great break away from the shelter, and all the other places I seem to have to be around most of the day. I even got a hug from this one lady. That was very nice. It's been a long time since I've had one of those. I also know the dangers of relationships, and I'm not going there.
I get pretty frustrated during the day because I haven't been able to receive E-mails. I don't know what's wrong. It's on yahoo, so I opened an account on google. Couldn't get them there either, but started to later.
Really gets frustrating because I'm trying to find some work. I've been going around with only a penny, and a T.T.C. token in my pocket, and I'm scrounging all the time. I couldn't quit smoking yet either, and I'm having to pick up buts I find. Really kind of degrading for me. I'm used to having everything, but everything is so tight here. I know it could be worse, and I'm sure as long as I stay sober things will get better. This is still the results from going back out, so I am taking it in stride.
One lady left me an E-mail already for painting work. I have to phone her today and see what all it involves. Hell, this is crazy. I'm in a shelter, with a penny, oh I forgot I found a nickel last night too, okay six cents and a token and I'm trying to take on painting jobs. Well, I've done lots of crazier things before. Sometimes bullshit really baffles brains.
Anyway, if I can just get a bit of money in my pocket to get me started I know I will feel much better about everything. I'm not depressed about it, but it is a very hard struggle. I know I got myself into it, so I'm not going to cry about it.
I phoned the police about my bag and cell phone. Nothing there yet. I'm still hoping, but I know the chances of getting it back are slim. Without a phone these days, your pretty much sqrewed. I do have a number at this club I go to, but that's just messages, and it isn't reliable.
Anyway, I'm going to phone this lady and see what's up. I'll try and have a good day and stay positive. thank you, Lord.
Well, I'm back. I feel so excited now. I just phoned that lady about the painting, and it's looking great. Apparently she does painting herself as a business, but she has a bad back and she's got all kinds of work pilled up. This kind of thing is right up my alley. Right now I'm mobile, and the work is in Brampton, so I can live anywhere, anytime. I'm good at painting, so she could spend more time in the business end of it and leave most of the work for me. This is great, great, great. I can't wait.
Now the problem is getting to Brampton so that I can try and sell the idea. I know I can sneak into the subway here. I don't like doing that, but if I have to I will. just have to see if it cost more money for the Brampton transit too. That might fuck me, but if I have to I will just tell her to meet somewhere more convenient. Yahoo, I'm excited now.
I'm also aware of getting my hopes up too much. I know it could fall through, but this is really an excellent opportunity, I think. I have to keep my sobriety. I know that if I drink, there is no chance at all for anything to work out. I have to keep my meetings too. This could be really great. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.
Things are still bothering me about this one staff member. I was hoping that this other guy that I trust would be on last night, but he wasn't. That was a let down because I was looking forward to talking to him about this. Anyway, he will most likely be there tonight, I hope.
My meeting last night was pretty good. It was at one of the oldest chapels in the city, and I just love the way it was built. There were some guys drinking whiskey in the park outside of it, and I had a flash thought of drinking. I suppose those will come and go always. I'm used to that from trying to get sober before.
I found the people a lot more comfortable to be with. They were friendly, shaking my hand and smiling. It's a great break away from the shelter, and all the other places I seem to have to be around most of the day. I even got a hug from this one lady. That was very nice. It's been a long time since I've had one of those. I also know the dangers of relationships, and I'm not going there.
I get pretty frustrated during the day because I haven't been able to receive E-mails. I don't know what's wrong. It's on yahoo, so I opened an account on google. Couldn't get them there either, but started to later.
Really gets frustrating because I'm trying to find some work. I've been going around with only a penny, and a T.T.C. token in my pocket, and I'm scrounging all the time. I couldn't quit smoking yet either, and I'm having to pick up buts I find. Really kind of degrading for me. I'm used to having everything, but everything is so tight here. I know it could be worse, and I'm sure as long as I stay sober things will get better. This is still the results from going back out, so I am taking it in stride.
One lady left me an E-mail already for painting work. I have to phone her today and see what all it involves. Hell, this is crazy. I'm in a shelter, with a penny, oh I forgot I found a nickel last night too, okay six cents and a token and I'm trying to take on painting jobs. Well, I've done lots of crazier things before. Sometimes bullshit really baffles brains.
Anyway, if I can just get a bit of money in my pocket to get me started I know I will feel much better about everything. I'm not depressed about it, but it is a very hard struggle. I know I got myself into it, so I'm not going to cry about it.
I phoned the police about my bag and cell phone. Nothing there yet. I'm still hoping, but I know the chances of getting it back are slim. Without a phone these days, your pretty much sqrewed. I do have a number at this club I go to, but that's just messages, and it isn't reliable.
Anyway, I'm going to phone this lady and see what's up. I'll try and have a good day and stay positive. thank you, Lord.
Well, I'm back. I feel so excited now. I just phoned that lady about the painting, and it's looking great. Apparently she does painting herself as a business, but she has a bad back and she's got all kinds of work pilled up. This kind of thing is right up my alley. Right now I'm mobile, and the work is in Brampton, so I can live anywhere, anytime. I'm good at painting, so she could spend more time in the business end of it and leave most of the work for me. This is great, great, great. I can't wait.
Now the problem is getting to Brampton so that I can try and sell the idea. I know I can sneak into the subway here. I don't like doing that, but if I have to I will. just have to see if it cost more money for the Brampton transit too. That might fuck me, but if I have to I will just tell her to meet somewhere more convenient. Yahoo, I'm excited now.
I'm also aware of getting my hopes up too much. I know it could fall through, but this is really an excellent opportunity, I think. I have to keep my sobriety. I know that if I drink, there is no chance at all for anything to work out. I have to keep my meetings too. This could be really great. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.
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