God, last night was horible. Felt like I had restless leg syndrome. Felt like my legs were just crawling all over. Kept flipping all over the bed. Even Jet got a bit pissed off with me. She likes being under the covers cuddled up with me when I sleep, but she couldn't take it either. When morning came it calmed down, and I just wanted to sleep, but I had to get up to take a resume to a restaurant. On the way there I was wondering if this was really the right time to be starting a job. I know it isn't because of what's going on with me, but i need some money comming in. This job is only part time, so that could be good for awhile so I can get things together, and not over do it. Everything is alright now, but I need money for the end of the month. Anyway, things are alright. Just dealing with this withdrawel thing. Boy is it nasty. Feels like I have a constant headache, and my heads full of cotton. I did give in and took a pill, but I'm not taking anymore unless I really need it. I just may have to do that until the eighteenth comes. God does it feel like an eternity. Anyway, I found that just taking the one pill did help. All the withdrawel symptoms went away immediately and let me get through the day, and work. It's by far not a large amount, but it really did help. I know that's not the way, but I just can't function going through all the withdrawel. At least I got through two days. I'm going to try the same way tomorrow. Just try to go without as long as I can, but if it gets too bad I will stick with just a half pill. I don't have any here. I already know by this experiance that I can go two days without and not have any major difficulty. Perhaps tomorrow I can push that a little further, and hopefully get a little longer. Don't know if this is good or not, but it's the way I have to do it. I need to be able to function so that I can make money for the bills. I just don't see any other way around that. Anyway, aside from that it did turn out to be a good day, and I did accomplish a bit. Made some money with Bob, I got my resume delivered, and I have work tomorrow. Got some cleaning done here, which is good. I don't like things piling up, and going through withdrawel can really make that happen. I phoned Dillon today. I just felt I needed to hear a friendly voice. We didn't talk much, but he did encourage me, and that's what I needed. Didn't eat hardly today, but I will make something before I go to bed. Hope that damned leg thing doesn't start again. That was awfull. Anyway, thank you Lord. I do know that your with me and doing your best. Please give me the strength, and courage to deal with these problems. Thank you.

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Thinking of you. Will call when i can quit crying........huggs