Had a quite day today. No work or anything. Don't know what Bob's doing with this house we were working on, but it was way too hot to work anyway. Just took it easy today. It is bothering me a lot that I just don't find any real people here that I can be close to, or talk  to. It's kinda weird. Ever since I've been in Kitchener it seems to have been that way. I meet people, and at times think they are alright, but sooner or later it seems like I find they are fucked up in some way. I'm not saying I'm perfect or without problems, but it seems like at least I know about mine, and do try to be a better person from my past. People here I find, just seems like you can never really know them. It's strange, but true. I used to think that perhaps it's just me, but this is going on four years, and I'm still finding the same thing. Most people here are on government assistance, have drug or alcohol problems, and usually have some troubles with the law, but the differance I find is that they seem to just accept it as normal, and don't seem to care. Even Bob has said to me that the differance he sees in me is that I do care. I've been in trouble with the law, I've gotten into drinking problems, I've gotten into drug problems and all the other stuff that these people have, but I don't know. I don't find those things acceptable, and I don't want to live that way, and I do try to be a good person. I like good things in my life. I love being able to show affection, or having it. I like loving, I like being kind. I just can't figure this out. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me, but I like the real person I am. I know what it feels like to hurt, or lose people you love. I've experianced the awfull consequences of living wrong. Is it possible that this whole Kitchener is fucked? Am I really just wasting my life here. It often seems like that. I just don't know. Anyway, I'm tired and want to just go to bed, and cuddle up with Jet. Lord, please straighten this out for me. I really do want to live your way. Just show me. Thank you.