Better day

Woke up this morning feeling much better. Seems like this cold is finally on the way out. still have pain in the neck, arms and chest area, but it's getting better. Went to the Dr today. That went well. He gave me some antibiotics, and some cough syrup. I was surprised at that, and he was hesitant, but it's really nothing to worry about. It has a little codein in it, but not enough for anything to happen. He also just gave me enough for two days. I took some when I got home, and I feel much better. The pain in my chest is gone. It was nice just getting out too. I've been mostly just inside the past week, mostly in bed. Yesterday and the day before were really nice out, but I was inside being sick. I went out with Bob last night to do some work. I find he can really be an agravating person to me. I try to just focus on what good I think he has, but he makes it dificult. He really seems like a greedy person. He always seems to want any money I get. I gave him an extra months rent last week, but now he's trying to say that I owed money for rent when I went away. When I came back he had subleted the apartment with this guy, and without my consent. He tried getting the guy out the day before I left Halton House, but the guy wouldn't go because he said he had payed for the month. Bob wanted him to be gone, thinking that I wouldn't find out, and then get another two months rent from me. He was playing his game with the guy when I got here. He asked him to show the receipt for the rent, but meanwhile he never gave the guy one. Bob hardley ever gives receipts so he won't have to pay the taxes. I feel like he's trying to do the same with me. Next month is payed for now as far as I'm concerned. Bob was trying to say that I owed him for the summer. If he got $1,000 from this guy, the $300 from what Paul owed me, and some other money I gave, well then he's gotten more that what was owed. He tried the same bullshit when Sheldon was here. He wanted $400 from Sheldon a month, as well as my $540.00 a month rent. I get mad when we get into this shit. He plays with words like a magician. Comes up with stuff out of the blue. I get pretty angry when he tries this. I have the same feeling he's going to try this at the end of the month, but I'm not giving him anymore. I don't trust him to pay rent ahead, especially with no receipts. I found signs that he has been in my apartment a few times when I wasn't here. I'm sure he comes in snooping to see what tools I have. Some are his, but I use it for his work. Anytime I leave them with him, they get lost or fucked up because the other guys don't clean them. I still haven't gotten my paint brushes back that I left with Paul[ five months ago. That about a couple of hundred dollars there. Bob started yaking last night when I grabbed the paint tray with the tools in it, to go home. i don't care. He can yap all he wants, but the tools stay with me. That way I know they are alright, and ready to go. Bob can really be something. Always wants the work for free, and he'll try everything he can to do it. Everything always has to be for his benefit. He can really get me mad with this. Talks in circles, brings up things from months ago like a magician pulling rabits out of a hat. Then he always ends it with how much he's trying to help you. He can drive you to drink. Anyway, I am putting the drinking away today, and getting back to what I should be doing. All the drinking does is get me more angry about things. I was using beer while I had a cold, and it did seem to help with the pain, but I know it's not good for me. I had an incident a couple of weeks ago where I stoled a bottle of booze from the Hotel, almost got caught too. I really don't like to steal, but that happens at some point when I drink. Also messes up my peace of mind. I love to meditate before going to bed, but when I drink I can't do it because my mind wants to just keep going about all kinds of things. Mostly negative. I'm seeing that it's just not a good idea being around Bob too much. He wants to know way too much about all your finances. I'm usually open about stuff, but I'm cutting that out. All he does is fish for anything, and later tries to bring it up for his benefit. He has helped me at times, and I do remember it, but he also has a real devious side to him. Like a snake. You can't turn your back on him, or he'll bite you. Really is a strange charactor. So today I feel like I'm getting back to things, the way it should be. Just got to keep trying. I find that when you have some hope, it helps a lot to do whats right. Without it, there just doesn't seem much use in anything. I had my hope rocked recently. I was looking foreward to seeing someone, but I really messed it up. Started drinking a day or two before they got here. i'm not really sure why I did that, but i did. It was totally wrong, and just made the other person wonder about everything. I wasn't an ass or anything, just the fact I drank made the person wonder about everything. Might have been a sabotage or something, but doesn't matter now. The point is I need to try harder, and work on commitment to recovery, and I am.Thank you Lord for pulling me back up, once again. Thank you.