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  Had a pretty good day today. I did go to detox last night, and stayed, but had a problem with my medication. I forgot that I put my Seraquil in another bottle, and then they told me they couldn't give me it without it being in the proper bottle. I know that without that I can't sleep, so both me and them agreed that i should sign out until I got it corected. The one night did help tho. I wouldn't have gone if I really didn't want to stop. Just having that one night safe without drinking did help. Just the sleep really helped. Talking to one of the workers there was a bonus. He had gone through Halton House when it was bootcamp too. We knew a lot of the same people. It was encouraging to see him working there. He told me that I could go to the pharmacy on Monday to get a letter or something if I wanted, or needed to come in again. he also said that if things were alright I could call Heather who runs the day program, and see about doing that. Since today went well, and I seem back in the right fram of mind, I will do that. I have a lot of time on my hands right now, and that can be difficult, if I'm not carefull. I have a couple of weeks before I should start work, so I think this is best. i'll be in a safe place, with others trying to straighten out. I phoned Dillon today too. I want to see him tomorow. I've been putting off going back to the Sobriety Center, but I think it would be good to do. i've been putting that off because I just didn't think I was good enough yet, but I am. I think the real thing is to get busy doing something. this thing that came up about the family responsibility, just brought up a lot of emotions, but I can see that it needs to be dealt with. it's been a major fear of mine for awhile, and it's time to face it. i need to. There's so many differant emotions around it. Fear, guilt, shame, hurt, confussion... it's something that's been sitting for all these years, and i just had no idea what to do. I mostly just tried to push it away, but I can't. It really has just seemed like one huge mess of my life that i wanted to go away. Probably has a lot to do with why I've struggled so much. I think so. I looked on line at some places around here to see what counseling is available. I sent an E-mail to one, and hopefully I will hear from them Monday. In the meantime I'm going to try and stay just in the moment, like I heard today at the meeting. I got honest about struggling, and just told the truth. it was a bit hard to do in front of people, but I need to. I've always liked people to see the good side of me, but been afraid of letting them in to know the truth. I definetly need to continue that. Thank you Lord, for helping me once again. Glad your with me.