Feeling much better today. Had a really good sleep last night. Went to bed with good thoughts on my mind. Just finishing my last cigarette, and already I'm wanting another, but I said I would quit, and I'm going to. So sick and tired of struggling with addictions most of my life. I suppose it will be a little rough, but I know from Halton House that it's not that bad. I'm looking foreward to breathing clearly again. I hate it when I can hear my lungs wheezing at night. I like to meditate before I go to bed, and I find that smoking really disturbs that. Anyway, I'm getting a little excited about a friend of mine. We've been talking awhile now, and I'm really likeing it. Gives me a lot of hope, and strength. At times, especially after drinking, my life seems so empty, lonely, and just awfull, and I've often wondered why I really wanted to live. God says we are here to love each other, but active addiction doesn't allow love. It's really good to be able to love. I can feel that when I don't use. It gets a little scary because we sometimes have gotten hurt. I have never liked feeling pain, or hurt, and I mostly used to bury those feelings, but I'm hopeing now. I do beleive that God does bring people together for a reason. If this be your will God, let it be. Thank you, Lord.