Boy, felt really out of sorts this morning. All this time on my hands can be a little hard for me. Most of my life I have always been in overdrive, and now i don't have really much to do, except think a lot, and that's not always too good. I start questioning everything I'm doing, and feeling so darn inadequate. Sometimes it seems like everyone around me is working or able to do something, but then here I am just going to my meetings, and doing the odd job for Bob. There's nothing really wrong I suppose. I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and i just can't do much else right now. Just feels so damned odd. I'm used to making things happen. That hasn't always worked well tho, so I'm just trying to take things as they are. I guess no sense complaining about doing nothing. I suppose lots of people would love that. There are some good possibilities comming up for work, but most likely before spring time. Some guys in the programe have things comming uo, so I'll see. Winter is always a hard time for work anyway. i went to the noon meeting today, but I was really feeling weird. Just kind of nervous, and not really with it. I kept kinda zoning out. My mind seemed to be elsewhere. I even passed when it came my turn to talk, and I don't usually do that. I think it might have been the seven cups of coffee I had before noon. Bob decided to start on the roof today, so eight in the morning i get woken up by the guys tearing the shingles off the roof above me. Later I went across the hall and fixed the ceiling in the other apartment. That took about fifteen minutes, so that's about all I've done today. Supposed to go to the Big Book study group tonight. Don't feel like going, but I will. I know I need my recovery. Even this morning, I seen Willie downstairs getting the rest of his stuff together. He was having a beer. Said he found three while walking over. I found myself thinking a beer would be nice. I used to love that little buzz in the morning, but I know I can't. Those thoughts always seem nice, but when you play the tape all the way through, nah! I know it's not nice for me. I'll end up in trouble, fucked up, or dead. Those days are over. anyway, it's snowing again. Big fluffy flakes. Looks pretty neat, and pretty. It's not even that cold out. Yea, it is a good day. Thank you, Lord.