Well, today is another day. Trying to get things back together. I had some time to look at what drinking did to me. Brought all those negative emotions back again. Took my focuse of doing the good things that I was doing, and just got me thinking about drinking again, to fix everything. Gets my nerves all wound up so that it's hard to make good choices. Really wish I could stay completly sober, but I honestly don't think that will ever happen. The best I seem to be able to do is a few weeks or so. I seem t6o go so hard to do things that I just get to a point that I say, "That's enough. Need some time out." Painting for Bob and Paul is good, but they seem to always focuse on whats wrong. No matter how hard I try my best, they seem to always find that little fault that makes me feel like I'm not good enough or something. They always push hard for you to go so fast, and then after find something wrong. I know it's not just me. Others that work for them say the same thing. Seems like I either become a workaholic, or an alcoholic. Either one won't bring me real happiness. Working has far more possitives to it, but it still gets lonely. Hopefully in treatment I'll get something.