Last night I sqrewed up. Got drinking a few beers downstairs. Not many, but one thing leads to another. Got my G.S.T. cheque yesterday. I knew I was thinking about doing something stupid, so I gave the money to Paul to hang onto, but I ran into Willie and they had beer and so it went. Only had about five, but still, it's not good. Makes me really feel like crap. Try to figure out why, but that doesn't make sense. Only thing I can fifure is I've been mostly just working, and nothing else. Can't figure why when things are going good, I seem to want to sqrew it up. Well, at least it's not too bad this time. I'm so glad I gave my money to Paul. Could have been worse. Anyway, going to try and not beat myself up about it. Still have plans on going to treatment, but I was starting to question that too. Last night just tells me I do need something. Not sure if that's the answer tho. I've been through treatment before a few times, and not succesfull. Well, at least it will give me a good three months clean. Sure beats feeling like I do now.