Feeling a little better now. I think I'm at the point that I'm starting to do things about all this stress I've been feeling. Telling off Bob, I think, was the first best move. Might cost me, but hell, sometimes you just have to do what you need to do. Doesn't seem to be any more room for fear anymore. I might go down and lose all this, but I can keep my sanity. I think I have been around too many fucked up people. I don't mean that in an arogant way. I know I'm not better, but I can be better. Go back to meetings, perhaps. I need help with this for sure. A friend told me today something that got me thinking. I hate people seeing me when I'm fucked up, or not at my best, but that seems to be keeping me from asking for help, againta do it. I don't want to be this way. AHHHHHHHHH! This is a hard time. God please help.