Wow! What a time I'm having. I had a talk with Sheldon the other day about everything. That was pretty hard. Trying to keep everything in perspective, while he gets emotional. I think it went all right, but I don't see any changes comming. Sometimes I feel like it's me going crazy, but then I think it's because I'm surounded by nuts. Last night after working with Bob, he tried to tell me that he only owed me for twenty six hours last week. I must have sat for at least an hour arguing with him. He goes around in circles talking bringing up everything he possibly can. God, the bible, what he's done for me, and all kinds of other shit. after about an hour my head was starting to hurt and I just left. this morning I got a call about a job painting, and I start tomorow. I phoned Bob and told him straight up what's what. I told him that he owed me for at least 35 hours, and if I don't get paid I'll take it from the rent. He tried the same things. Telling me how much he's helped me and everything. Even started saying stuff about Sheldon staying here. Starts saying about the baby crying. I said what about all the noise others make when their doing drugs, that's all right, huh? Sheldon has been here about a month or more, and now he's trying to say he shouldn't be here because he owes me money. Even said the welfare phoned him about Sheldon, trying to insinuate that he could cause trouble. I told him I really don't give a fuck what he does. I said this is what you owe and if you don't pay, I take it from the rent. End of story. What a stupid jerk. I tell you since being here in Kitchener I'm really learning about being tough at heart. It's not a good thing, and I don't want it that way, but that just seems the way it is.. I just don't find any good here. He can do whatever. I really don't care anymore. If I have to struggle everyday like this just to try and live, fuck it. I would rather lose this place and go somewhere new. All I'm concerned about is that Jimmy stays alright. He's my little bit of serenity. The rest I can gladly leave, if it means peace of mind again. I have such a weird feeling since all this stress started. My head hurts, and I just don't feel right. I still don't think this has anything to do with dealing with Bob, and I do beleive I am handling things the best I can. Just a shame that I have to do things this way. It really is. I used to try and be such a good guy. Even the addicts on the street used to call me, "The good guy." Actually on the streets, that means a sucker, but it was because I still tried being nice and fair. I never tried fucking people over, or ripping people off. People still respected me. Perhaps this is just a change of life. I don't know. All I know is I feel like I'm in choppy waters, and it's going to get rougher. Feels like shit tho. Really miss the nice, good times I used to have. Every time I turn around in here something pisses me off. Long time ago I told Sheldon to leave my lighters alone, because he has this stupid habit of putting them in his pocket all the time, so I bought six lighters. You think I can find one now? And I expect him to change. Hah, that's a laugh. I just looked in his room. His kid has broken three pairs of my glasses. I can't tread a book unless I glue them or something. Yup! All this craziness is going to end very soon. I'm at that point. It's gonna blow.