I think I'm starting to feel a little better. Headache isn't like a volcano anymore. I took some of the clonazepam the Dr gave me. That's helping. I've been eating like a horse. Not sure if it's out of boredom, worry, or what, but I need to get some weight back so it's all good. sheldon and Stephan are still out. I'm missing some T.V. All we have is the V.C.R. hooked up, and all there is here is kids movies. It's not bad, but after two weeks I wouldn't mind some upbeat stuff. Oh well, have to do with what you got. Sheldon has been a real blessing here. Far better than Tim. Sheldon really tries to be a good father. I'm impressed. Sometimes he really bombs out tho. Last night they got in about 10:30pm. Had a problem and he had to get the baby late. Another lady gave a box of toys for Stephan and at 11pm when he was wanting Stephan to go to bed, he3 decides to show him whats in the box. What a nightmare that was trying to get him in bed for sleep. He was screeming at the top of his lungs, and here I am laying down with my withdrawels. i wanted to kill him, but I kept quiet and listened to it for a half hour. Then when Stephan falls asleep Sheldon wants to chat with me. I tried my best not to be rude, but I really wasn't in the mood for idle talk. I had been laying there for six hours in complete pain, tossing and turning, trying to get some sleep. I think that was the hardest about this withdrawel is not telling someone what to do, or where to go. Ha, I got Stewart the mouse on now on the T.V. i thought I picked a more grown up one. Guess not. Jimmy's been a great buddy to me. He seems to know when somethings wrong with me. Cuddles me, sticks his ass in my face when I got my eyes closed. i laughed the other day. Jimmy was on the dresser and Stephan walked by, and Jimmy belted him in the head. I guess he thought it was a good time to play catch up for all the times Stephan grabs his tail. i talked with Bob and I'm going to try work again tomorow. i really hope that this thing is winding down, but I don't trust it yet. I read some stuff about opiat withdrawel because I was getting scared that I had fried my brain, but I think it's allright. what's bad when you stop is just your body returning to normal. It' frigging hurts. hopefully, well not hopefully, that's it. I can't pay that price no more. I thought by taking them I could accomplish so much, and I could, but that crash always comes. There's just never a life supply of it. And that crash is just that. Even the hair on your head hurts. With it, I thought I could work at three jobs, get back all the things I lost, get life back on track, because you just felt you had so much power to keep going. I could do anything, but that crash????? I don't want it no more. I'm really getting to old for this shit, and my body can't take it. i don't want to die that way, or any other addictive way. I'm really going to try to hang on this time, but I do think treatment is a good idea. Thank you Lord, for being there for me.