Another day of being down, and feeling sick. Went to the Dr's today to see if he could help. I was almost begging, and came close to crying. I feel so awful. I'm still very restless and having trouble sleepping. I also feel very irritable, but I've kept that in check. I have to with Sheldon and his son. They didn't do anything. doing alot of worrying too about work and where the money is going to come from. i have some money comming from income tax and my last pay, but that's it. I feel like running, but where? i phoned a treatment center I went to years ago that helped the most. I'm going to try to see about going back. God, why do I do these things. I really don't know if I'm going to have the strength to get through this. I'm all full of doubt, and self loathing. I wish I were dead, but I feel there just might be some hope, just a little.