Well, things as usual at the trailer are heading the same as always, nowhere. Ed and Dian just don't know what they are doing. Their too old and can't run it properly. Dian spends her days telling the customers how tired she is from working so hard, but that's about all she does. Their running out of everything, and it gets a little embaressing. All this stuff we talked about on how things were going to be run is just that. Talk! They have kids there that don't want to work, and if you say anything they cry. The one that's there with me doesn't know anything, and they told me to show her properly the things to do. I did that, but she didn't like it, so then Ed talks to me after because she cryed to him. I don't know. I feel like I care more about seeing their bussiness be something than they do. I have to remember that they just aren't all there. Their just a couple of nuts. I always get my hopes up about them, but then they do the same things as before. I feel like telling them to just take their job and do what they want. Their never going to change, and that's that. It's just a waste of time. Just last week Ed was talking about this same person that is working with me saying that she was no good and that he needed someone else, and then he has her back again. The other day I was in the other trailer talking with Ed and Dian and they got her pipe that she had forgotten there. So they have her there smoking dope and stuff, and who knows what other reasons are behind it. Why would someone they just hired feel comfortable enough to be smoking pot there, and leaving their pipe with them. These people are just nuts. I mostly have learned from the past to not try and figure them out. It only frustrates you trying to figure out insanity. I'm contemplating on wheather or not to tell them to keep their job and get someone else. If I'm going to be spending my weekends trying to do something with this, then I want cooperation. It's really not the money. That's for sure. It helps some, but it's not a big thing and I could get by easily without it. Summer is almost here, and I could be enjoying a lot of other things with my weekends rather than be pissing myself myself off with people that are fucked up. Lately I've been niticing that I have been feeling a little agitated about things. I seem to be missing some normality stimulation. Sheldon is not a bad guy, but talks pretty foolish most of the time so I find myself avoiding situations where he might get into his talking. At my regular job, things aren't too bad, but I always have that situation with the chef to deal with, and the others i keep talking to a minimum because I just don't trust them to get into any real conversations, and then at the trailer I have Ed and Dian. So it just seems that I'm not getting much real talk, inspiration, or stuff that keeps you going. I seem to be surounding myself too much with people that have problems. Seems to me anyway. I feel like I need some time for just me or something. Jimmy seems to be the only sane thing around me. perhaps it's because I stopped going to meetings or something, but I just don't see much point in them anymore. I've been around A.A. for a lot of years. I learned a lot of things, and it's helped me in many ways, but it seems like I've outgrown it or something. Lately anytime I go, I come out with nothing. Sure it's nice seeing people, and to be with them, but I don't seem to be in with them. My mind focuses on the negativity most times. the other day I went to the dre to get a prescription filled, and I seen someone from C.A. there. We got talking a little bit and the recovery room jokes came out. I found it anoying for some reason. Oh well. Mayby I'm just a little worn out. I have been working a lot lately, and not getting much relaxation time. Not even sure if I know how to relaxe anymore. I find sitting down to watch T.V. dificult. Lately I just seem to be always on the go. I used to enjoy going to the farmers market, doing my laundry and other little things on my days off. Perhaps I should tell Ed it's enough. Well see. Anyway, I'm tired. I try not to make decisions when I'm tired, Still miss my friend on here., Berryterri. Hope she's doing well and alright. May God nless us all. Amen.