Today went well. Still feel a little awkward at work because of my sneakyness, and now that it's been exposed. Just something to do with me, but not a big deal. I guess i'm feeling the guilt and shame that goes with that. Perhaps it's just what I'm supposed to feel, but like I say, it's not a big deal or anything I'm worried about. Actually in a lot of ways it's a releif because i don't have to pretend or worry about covering my ass all the time. The last few days after work I've been just taking it easy. I went to a couple of meetings this week, and I'm alright with that. I do feel much better by being involved with people in recovery, but I'm also just enjoying taking it easy. It seems differant tho. I feel like I'm comming to a few conclusions about my life. I feel like I'm just getting comfortable with things, and the way they are. I'm not all out to find a relationship anymore. That can be a pain in the ass. If one happens that's alright, but I've stopped trying to make it happen. I'm starting to feel alright by myself. When I come home, it's nice just relaxing and having a cup of coffee, or patting Jimmy for awhile. I like being back on the computer, and writting my journal. Being back in touch with people on this site is really nice. I like the encouragements, and being able to just be me, and express myself. When I get messed up all I seem to have is my thoughts, and Lord knows that after a little time that can really be bad. The only thing that has really changed in the past few days is that I'm getting out of my own head. On here I can talk to other people that have struggles to, and I can care for them too. This site is really good I think. It gives me a lot of what the meetings don't. Meetings I go to here, seem mostly like a social thing for me. I find more about recovery here than I do at the meetings. It's not to say the meetings aren't important, because they are. We need to have real people in our lives. We were never created to be alone. Just rambling a bit, so I'm going to take a bubble bath. Haven't done that in awhile. Should be fun. thank you so much Lord, for the peace I feel right now. Thank you so much. Besides, Jimmy's decided to get on my computer desk and try typing. Little bugger. I was just thinking, he seems like he's so happy. when I felt that depression going on, I thought about if I were to try and find him a new home because I thought he wasn't happy, but he is happy here. I've never seem him mad or anywhere close to it. I don't even think that he's ever groweled yet. Don't even know if he knows how. i'm so happy that G and I got him. That was the best thing I think. He's been great with me, and for me. During some of my rough times, he's been there for me. Usually laying on my chest at night. Just purring. Thank you, Lord.