Today went alright at work. things seem to be calming down some, at least the way I feel inside. i went to a C.A. meeting tonight. Heard a lot of nonsense, but the real reason I went was to be with people. I still very much prefere A.A, and I'm going to try and stick with that. I still can't seem to shake this feeling that I'm at my end. I just feel like I'm here, and that's it. Not going anywhere or doing anything. I was talking with this lady earlier, and i'm a little pissed off at myself that I didn't cut the conversation earlier. I think she was an asshole. Got talking about my seperation, and why I don't see my kids. I should have cut it off right at the begining. All it did was bring up some old shit that I feel bad about, but can't do a thing about. I would if I could, but i can't. She really didn't say much about it. i just felt that I was being judged by her in some way. lots of people are like that I find. Because your the guy, they seem to automatically assume that your just a deadbeat father or something. I guess that's just a part of life that I have to accept. There's a lot of life that really seems to suck, but were still supposed to accept it. I seen that kid I was going to help out by letting him stay here. He still seems like he wants to continue being a jerk. Just seems to blow whever the wind takes him. So young, but all he seems to want is a place so he can get social assistance. Just as well anyway. I had a feeling that it wouldn't work out, so I'm a little releived at that. Just makes me a bit angry, but in a good way. I'm going to try and look after this place. Right now I feel I can, but just not a hundred percent sure about it. Having some help would be good, but better to wait for the right person. Not someone that will agravate me.