Well, I decided to do something about what I was feeling about Cathy, and the choice she decided on. It may have not been right, but I think it needed to be done. I didn't want to keep things inside, just to have it play on me. I wrote her a letter letting her know how I felt about everything. Her being dishonest, using God to justify her actions. In the past I would have just put something like this off, telling myself that it was in God's hands, but really it would have been not doing anything at all, hoping that if there may be a possibility of anything eventually working out I would not want to mess it up. That's just wishful thinking, and avoiding any action at all. I know it will probably make her mad, but I feel in one sense that it is good. It is making it final that I don't care to have anything to do with this kind of thing, or to have a relationship of this type. I was honest in it, and expressed all my thoughts and views. I feel better in a sense that I put some finality to everything. I did wish her well, and I honestly do. She has the potential of being a very good person, and I said that. What I really wanted to covey to her was her ways of not being realistic and honest about things. To me it was like she made up fantasies to justify not doing things properly. Anyway, it's done, and time to move on. It was an experiance that I learned some things from. Mostly, I have to really watch about jumping into relationships so fast. I didn't want to when we first met, but didn't have the courage to say no, when I knew I should have. I did what I knew was not right by going to bed with her. That's a frigging hard thing to not do. I know that I would not have brought that up, or suggested it, but saying no when the other person invites you.. well, that part I fucked up. I should not have gotten myself into that position in the first place. I should have done the proper thing, and went home. Oh well, it's done and that's that. I deleted all her information from here. She just seems too mixed up for me. A really nice person, but very mixed up. One day she wants a relationship, the next she felt guilty about it, then wanted to go to bed, then felt guilty about that, then broke up, then wanted back together again, and that was just in the first week. What the heck was I thinking? That's the whole point I guess... I wasn't thinking. Doing things God's way sure isn't easy all the time. Anyway, I think for awhile I will just stick to going to movies or things like that. No more overnights, or letting myself get in those situations where I have to decide. I need to focus on me more, and keeping alright. That stuff got me all of track, and for me that's not good for long. Anyway, Lord please forgive me if writting that was wrong. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I do want to be honest. Be with us all Lord. Amen.