Well, I'm getting back on track. Man, I was thinking all day that I was going to get a six pack after work for sure. I didn't want to drink, but felt like there just wasn't any way to deal with the way I've been feeling lately, but I knew that drinking was only going to make me feel more negative about everything. Always does. Brings those thoughts of depression, and soon suicide. But I got through the day, sober. I met Dillon when I was walking home, and we went to the square and talked for about an hour. Mostly I just listened. I like that with Dillon. I can just listen and hear things right. I don't have to say much. After I went to the gym, and did some heavier weights. I wanted to feel good pain. I thought after that most of my life I've felt bad, miserable pain, but good healthy pain is good. I know I'm doing good for my body. I still feel weak from the pills I took, and working out helps a lot. I went to the C.A. meeting tonight. It was good. Not a lot of people, and I didn't hear too much bullshit. I'm going to go to church this Sunday again. I felt good being there, and I have missed that feeling. I phoned Cathy tonight. She had her operation and they took the cancer out, hopefully all of it. She still has to take some medicine for a year to keep it away. I hope they got it. She's really a good person. So the money I was going to drink, I'll buy some chicken tomorow and have dinner with her. I like being with her. If I feel I need to be held, I can tell her and she understands. I don't need nothing sexual, just need to be held sometimes and hugged. I know, I'm a baby, but I think being held or hugged is the best feeling in life. Makes me feel good. Even when Dillon hugs me, I like it, and I don't even mind him kissing me on the cheek. Even that feels good. So, up and trying again. I thought, "Oh No. A long weekend with no money." This morning I really didn't know what I was going to do to get through this weekend, but God changed everything. All because I wanted to try again. Now tomorow I'm going to the gym, going to the noon meeting to see Gary, Gonna see Dillon again, and then dinner with Cathy. God, your the best. Sure beats whatever if I was to drink. Thank you, God, for another chance. Thank you.