Well, today is a weird day. Just dealing with some things. Started off with the short order cook calling in sick, so I had to do his job today. It wasn't a bowl of chrries doing a job unexpectedly, and no one available to show you anything about it. everything was a struggle, but what can you do. Sometimes shit happens. I did my best, and everything got done well. I didn't get angry or start swearing, but it was frustrating to say the least. And with the short order ya have to keep smiling no matter what because your dealing with customers. Anyway, I did my best, and got through the day. The chef was stressed too, because he had extra work too. At one point we almost got into a little fight, but we managed to keep our cool. He apologized after about it. He was frustrated, and I was frustrated and we just needed to let a little steam out. It really was nothing at all, but I am glad that he was man enough to apologize. It can take a lot to do that, especially with guys, and I do respect him for it. This morning to, before I left for work, Jimmy went into Tims room and knocked something off his dresser. I don't know what it was. All I heard was Tim start swearing at Jimmy, and really going on. I thought I heard him hit Jimmy, but wasn't sure so I just kept listening to see if it happened again. After a little, Tim went back to bed and everything was quiet again, but I was really pissed off. I wasn't really sure if Tim hit Jimmy, so I left it alone. Later when I got home a guy called from Bell and told me they changed the number. I've been struggling a bit with Bell because they didn't set up things like it was agreed upon. They kept it in my freinds name for some reason, instead of creating a whole new account in my name. So the last couple of days I've been getting pissed off because I couldn't do anything, or use my voice mail. I tried phoning several times, but mostly just listened to recordings which further agravated me. They called later, and told me I have another number. The guy didn't even know that I didn't even know my own number. I didn't even know they changed it. Anyway, I think they straightened it out now, all except the T.V. They say that's still in Rogers name, and I need to have that cancelled, but Rogers won't cancel it yet because the thirty day notice isn't up. So thet can't install the satelite dish until Febuary 28, so I have to wait till then to have my Bell satelite dish hooked up. I have to still call Rogers and make sure they have everything straight, as well as Bell. So when I got home I blew up at Tim about smacking Jimmy. I told him before when he smacked him once for something, to never do that again. Tim got mad too, and started comming up with all this silly childish stuff, because I told him he should just shut his door so the cat won't come in. He started saying he doesn't want the cat in his room, and that he has alergies and the cat makes him sick, so I told him he can get the fuck out on the thirteenth. That's when he's paid until. He pretended he was fine with that, but I know he's got nothing because he's been blowing it on crack. Fuck him. I'm kinda fed up anyway. He's still smoking crack in here, and I've told him a few times about that. He still has his porn here, and he knows I don't want that either. Well, I've been seriously thinking about telling him to go anyway. Might as well get the show on the road. All I've been doing is trying to wait for the right time. It comes at a time when I could use the money, but I thought about it. Jimmy needs to be safe, and I don't want anyone hitting him. Usually when people do that stuff, it can be more so when no one's around, so I feel I've got a resonsibilty to protect him. To top it off, I wrote a long letter to Cathy telling her everything that I thought about us just having a casual relationship. I told her I just didn't want a sexual relationship right now. Then I checked my E-mail and seen a message from her saying about the same, but I think it's more of a dear John letter, basically saying that she was happy with her life as it is. So, I'm not to sure where we are, if we are at anything. We both seem to want just a freindship, but hers was more of a kind of take care, and thanks. Anyway, can't let that bother me. If she wants to be freinds then she knows my number. I'm just going to leave it alone, and let it go whatever way it's supposed to go. So, that's my day so far. I think I'm just going to go to the gym and relaxe a bit. Aside from this stuff I feel alright, just a little frazzled, but I'm taking it alright. Just need to take it easy. Just when things get up in the air like these, it makes me a little unsure of things. I know they will be alright. It just changes. Sometimes we have expectations, and they don't always go the way you think it should, but I see it as another differant set of oportunities to learn from, and deal with. Hope I do well with them. God is with me, and I know he has good things for me down the road, and better ones. If something doesn't work out, it's usually because it wasn't meant to be, so I need to go foreward and meet those oportunities to find the ones that are meant to be. Thank you God for these oportunities. Help me to have the faith, courage and wisdom to deal with them. Thank you. Amen