I had a great day at work today. Everything went well, but I'm sad now. A freind of mine who was here in the summer with her dog, well seems like the dogs time has come. I feel so sad now. I fell in love with the dog her, and her cat. It was a short time, but it was a time that I felt so much love with the four of us. I got along great with the dog and developed some real good feelings. She was such a charector. Lively, always right there. She was my freinds freind, and baby. I feel so sad about it. She was old, but I knew that she had been with my freind through many rough times. She was so loyal and protective, but had a real good heart. I feel sad that my freind has to go through this. She's done so well with quiting drinking. I wish she didn't have to go through this kind of pain. I would gladly take it if I could, but I can't. I know this is the tough part of life. We will all have to say goodbye at some point. All we ever have is right now, and we need to do the best we can, and try not to cause hurt or pain. Life has enough of that on it"s own. Anyway, all I can do is pray , and hope my freind handles it well, and that the dog doesn't suffer. I hate these things at times. I think it's the only thing that I really do hate. I don't like the hurt and pain that the ones left behind go through. My other freind on here. I started feeling so bad that I got mad at her, and took her off as a freind. She called me the other night. I don't think she knew that I was mad, or took her off. She's going threw a hard time to. Her ex took her daughter, and it's upsetting her. She ended up in the hospital because her heart was giving her pains because she was upset. I felt so bad after. I felt guilty that I was turning my back on someone that was hurting, and mayby needed me just to talk to. Sometimes I just want to get on with life, and put away all this stuff, but I can't help but care for these people. At times when I needed a freind they were there, and made me smile. Anyway, I am trying not to get too caught up with people. I need to look after me too, and keep things in perspective. Even with Tim. I have gone over everything in my head, and looked at the whole situation. Whatever he's doing is not really bothering me or my life. I'm still going about my stuff. He's not a bad guy, just likes getting high every so often. I don't go in his room much anymore. I know already what he does. He's not the kind of person to just steal from you. He does have some good about him, just a conflicting lifestle. At time we talk about things, but there's no closeness or freindship. I'm sorry that he can't see things clearly, but I guess it's the path he's on. Mayby he needs it. I don't know. Anyway, I am letting him stay awhile. He'll most likely leave soon anyway. I want that to be on good terms. I don't leave money or anything around that would hurt me. I don't think he would ever take my stuff. He knows I've been good to him, and burning those kind of bridges is bad for anyone. He's not the kind of person that needs drugs. He just likes them still. Mayby he just hasn't gotten to the places I've been. I hope he never does, but I don't think I have anything to worry about. I'm not wrapped up in material things, but I don't think he would go that rout. I know he's taken small things, like sample soaps I had, or my cigarettes at times, but that's it. So far I don't think he's had anyone in, so I'm alright with things. At times it has been comforting just knowing that I wasn't alone. Especially when I was shaking it rough there for awhile. When he's not here, I find that now I do enjoy the quiet, and being alone at times. I find it nice to be with God when I"m here alone, and it's quiet. For now it's alright, and not bothering me. It's not like he's doing it here, I know he has, but for the most part he hasn't, and that"s good. Anyway, my focus is more on looking after myself, and continuing to get my body back in shape. I went to the gym again today. I'm going to do that after work. I find most times that I get home at such an early time that I just don't know what to do. This seems to fill the time nicely. I get home about four so I can make something good to eat. Do my journal, and whatever else I need to do. I can take it easier on the weekends, and relaxe. I was sore this morning at work, but it was a good sore. I wanted to go back to work some more so I can get myself into a rythem. I did better today with the weights. I pushed a few more times, and it was better. Still not a knockout workout, but it's doing the job. Can't do it all at once. I had a good meeting last night at A.A. and met some more good people. That Tuesday night one is really good. Not many people, and mostly all older guys that are serious about recovery. I hear good things there. I'm going to C.A. again tonight. Going to make some sandwiches this time. Can't keep buying those cakes or I'll go broke. That's eight bucks a pop. Mayby once a week is alright, but have to settle for other things the rest of the nights. Bringing things is something that I've decided that I will do tho. I used to do that long ago, but stopped when I came here. I like doing it again. I think it's part of recovery to give back. I think of how much I would spend on drugs and drinking. Don't know even how the hell I managed that. It was expensive, I tell you, but when you need it, you always seem to find a way. Anyway, I gotta go and get those sandwiches ready, and eat my chicken. Thank you Lord for everything, and please be there for my freind and her dog. Help them both in whatever way that is yours. Thank you.